Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Christmas With The Last Jedi

I bought Star Wars Lego Advent calendars for the boys for Christmas this year. Mostly because we were too poor when I was growing up to have one and I had to go outside and choose a small pebble from our rock yard. Then each day I'd move it to a little pocket that corresponded to the correct number in a calendar made out of red and green paper napkins that my mom had made. 
I totally just made that up. We never had an advent calendar.
Anyway, the boys got these advent calendars this year.
Behind the door each day is a small Lego Star Wars build.
This really got me thinking about the great idea behind advent calendars due to the calming effect they have on impatient waiting for Christmas Day people like me. So I've suggested to Jason that next year he should have a life-sized advent calendar for me to do.
Every day would provide something extremely exciting such a 20x30 framed family portrait on day 1 and an InstaPot on day 15 ultimately culminating in the gift behind door number 24 which would be a car. If a car was asking a bit much and needed to be reserved for Christmas day however, I'd settle for a new wardrobe to be behind that door.
I also introduced Buddy the elf this year. The laziest elf this side of the Mississip. On his first visit he hung from a branch on the Christmas tree. He was too tired to crawl in a jar and seal himself up with a "help" sign.
For one of his final acts of mischief, he managed to TP, the living room
and then hide behind the couch with the evidence.
 Only Evan didn't understand what "TP"ing was so he was convinced that Buddy decorated our living room to get it ready for Christmas. So when Jason finally tore it all down so that we could move about freely in there, Evan burst into tears and accused him of terrorism.

The boys grew increasingly restless as they were home all day considering school was out for Christmas break. We went and stood in line to see The Last Jedi on Friday. Yeah. There was no line.
Spoiler Alert: I'm the last Jedi.
Actually, on account of how I'm a boy mom, I feel that I'm qualified to add my very insightful opinions of these movies. I liked this one. However, I was doing a search about the movie after we watched it to make sure I understood what was happening in parts of it (because I'm very thorough) and there were a ton of articles about Kylo Ren being shirtless in one scene. I'd just like to say to all the swooning girls out there that if he's anything in real life like he is as Kylo Ren, his wife should be very afraid. If they get in any sort of marital scuffle, he could totally just haul off and cut her in half with a light saber. Point Being: girls, don't marry a buff conflicted man. Marry a kind skinny punk.

My last "be a fun awesome mom" attempt was a few days ago when I had the boys make and decorate sugar cookies with me.
Turns out their favorite part is licking the utensils.
Although Dawson went a little overboard.
 It wasn't long before I discovered that these sugar cookies weren't the doughy kind that could be cut into shapes with cookie cutters. The dough was basically pure butter and sugar and stuck to everything. So we had to dig our fingers into the lump and form a sticky ball.
I even tried rolling the dough out. This caused my rolling pin to shout obscenities and I had to baptize it. 
The cookies tasted okay when they were baked so I made buttercream frosting and let the boys add the food coloring which was a stupid thing to do because staining and all that. 
If you'll look at the cookie on the top of the pile closest to Dawson, you'll see that the bottom of the cookie sheet transferred to the cookie because we stacked the cookie sheet on top of the other to create space to cook on the stove where they were cooling. Jason said that if we eat the cookie anyway we'll survive though we might mutate so I left it on the plate.

 Sorriest bunch of cookies ever. But I'm mom of the year. So. it all balances out.
Jason came down with a bad cold so some of the plans we had made were cancelled, like going to the electric safari at the zoo. He did manage to drag himself into the Jeep and take us to look at Christmas lights which ended up being one house that we go to every year that has lights synced to music. Evan was in a bad mood so I told him he could take pictures of it on my phone:
 This led us right up to Saturday the 23rd, when we had Christmas with Jason's family.
We didn't get together until 1:00 in the afternoon. 
When there's so much waiting, sometimes you have to pass the time with trivial activities.
 Stockings are always first. Is there anyone on this earth who gets the stuff from their stockings last? I need to know.
Grandma had all the kids sit down and roll a dice to see who got to have their stocking first. An ingenious idea I might add.
 The boys got Star Wars ornaments.
 JOV (everyone agrees that my stocking looks like it says JOV, yes?) got her stocking and the photo bomber made me laugh out loud.
 I also managed to snag one of my nieces Christmas gifts and tried it on. I'd make an excellent panda surrogate.
2 smiling boys rounded out the day.
 Grandma got Evan this toilet game that squirts water from the toilet just like the one we have at home.
And Aunt Nessa got Evan this Playdough Millenium Falcon that daddy took over.
Preparations for next Christmas are now underway.

Monday, December 25, 2017

I ♥ Christmas

There's a slight chance that Christmas has the same effect on me as that of a 5 year old. Only I'm able to calm myself down enough in order to cook a meal and I don't know any 5 year olds that can do that. So. Clearly I'm a descendant of Buddy the Elf.
Last night for the first time in several years we skipped the Christmas Eve evening service at church and stayed home. 
The boys were so bored by the time 6 pm rolled around that we were all bickering about which Christmas movie to watch next. 
I told the boys that they could open their traditional Christmas Eve gift of pajamas and movie at 5:30 since that's when it gets dark here and we made until 5:15 when I called it good because I couldn't tolerate their hyperactivity any longer.
The Muppet Christmas movie that Dawson is holding is stupid and now I have to find a suitable replacement. Jason made it very clear that he wants to own the Christmas Classics (Like the old school version of the creepy felt looking rudolph slow motion movies). I'm hoping that Walmart has them on sale tomorrow so that I can get in a huge long line and waste my day away trying to buy it.
Of course in my haste to get the boys sitting still in front of a tv, I completely forgot to take a picture of them in their new pajamas so I forced them to take a picture in them in front of the tree this morning before opening presents.
We actually managed to wake up early enough to get all of the presents under the tree before the boys woke up.
 Dawson woke up before Evan and begged to wake up Evan on a consistent basis until I ran and hid in our basement closet when he wasn't looking so he couldn't ask anymore.
He finally woke up and I forced the yearly Christmas day on the stairs picture upon them.
 Then I talked them into standing in front of the tree for the pajamas picture.
They got to open their stocking first, because that's how it's done.
They each got a Star Wars Ornament and couple of other things that I would have showed you but I didn't get a picture because Christmas at our house is chaotic. I did get a video though but it won't load for some reason. So I'll allow you the privilege of imagining them opening their gifts in their stockings. 
Wasn't that fun?
I was trying to remember if I've every wrapped their stocking gifts before. I don't know why I did this year. I guess I was overcome with Christmas cheer and crap.
This year was the year of Lego for Dawson. He asked for Lego gift cards on repeat. So he got a ton of Lego gift cards. I asked him if we could turn them in for cash so that I could get this plaid poncho from Nordstrom that I've been wanting.
The number one item on Evan's Christmas list this year was this giant remote control crane that he saw in some spoiled kids' YouTube video.
Dawson of course begged for a Lego haul so that he could continue to enchant his YouTube following with new videos.
Jason put the crane together for Evan so that Evan could use the grappler attachment to clean up the Christmas after math.
Of course the giant crane was only a fraction of the price of that over priced Lego set so Evan's big gift was a new tablet.
I've been telling him his old tablet was lost for approximately 3 weeks now.
Speaking of Evan, I found these super cute $5 plush Star Wars dolls (are they dolls? What do you call them?!) at Kohl's this year and I bought some for Evan. Then I wondered if there were any more for sale that I was missing so I looked them up on Ebay. I bough the only 4 that there were available. Turns out I can steal them out of Evan's bed while he's sleeping and sell them on Ebay for double the money!
Jason bought me coffee mugs this year. And if you'll look to the bottom left corner of the picture you can also see my new "OMG It's Santa" t-shirt.
Dawson made us Christmas tree ornaments out of Legos.
Finally it was time to bribe the boys to do our annual Christmas pictures:
 Surprisingly, bribing doesn't always work that well for Evan and we have to threaten all manner of nuclear even occurrences to get him to cooperate with us.
 This one might be my fave:
 Of course I opened my big mouth and vocalized my approval of that picture and got this:
 "Are we done yet"????
 I felt it was time for some Christmas Joy.
 Bribery works with Jason.
 Tomorrow's blog post will contain all the events leading up to Christmas Day.