Monday, March 30, 2009

4 $ALE

Our house is officially up for sale.
We have a sign in our yard.
We have a VERY STINKING CLEAN house.

We actually put the house up for sale just before we left for spring break. We met with our realtor, Jason gave him some pictures he had taken of the outside and inside of the house to put online, we signed a few papers, and that was all it took to put our house up for sale. Well, that and hours or rearranging things to get perfect pictures for the MLS site. Because that’s how people with OCD sell their house. Actually, at the end of the final conversation we had with our realtor just after signing the papers, he honestly said –and I quote, “This is the time I usually take to tell people what they need to do to get their home ready to sell. Most people need to declutter and get their house cleaned up, but not you!” We should be paid to go and declutter homes.

Here’s the scoop, because I’ve had several people asking ever since Jason updated his status on Facebook. We have been thinking about moving to Colorado for a very long time now. We love it there. We both have looked for jobs in the area and had interviews but nothing has really worked out. So we decided the only way to make that happen… if we decide that’s what we want to do… is to put our house up for sale and see if it sells. Then we will go from there. If the house doesn’t sell, we stay there (but then I’m requiring someone build me a tornado shelter because I’m terrified of them!) If the house DOES sell, we will either find a house in this area that is a bit bigger –hopefully 4 bedrooms, a fireplace, a basement (for tornado protection) and don’t forget the front loading washer & dryer. Oh wait. We have to buy those? OR we will move to Colorado. That leaves things very open ended, now doesn’t it?

We had our first showing yesterday. We got the call on Saturday asking if they could come. I have made several observations based on this showing.

#1. We were about to allow STRANGERS into our home while we were not there. That creeps me out. Will they look in my underwear drawer? -Always a question in the back of my mind. They came with a different realtor, so that didn’t help the strangerphobia at all. Spell check is telling me strangerphobia is not a word. I’m taking the issue up with Webster!

#2. We spent all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday getting our home ultra clean for this one visit. Our house was cleaner than when Jason’s parents would come to visit! How can I keep up with this?! Am I going to need to do this every stinking time we have a showing? Because I’m already feeling like I’m willing to let STRANGERS come into our home and have the house looking like a disaster area. Because I’m not sure I can keep up with the strain of cleaning. Then again, we are an OCD family, so our house is normally unhealthily clean. In an OCD sort of way. I think they should put a time minimum on these showings. If I’m going to spend 2 full days of house cleaning for these people, they should be required to look in my house for a good ½ hour!

About the showing…
When it was time to leave our house, we drove around out neighborhood like stealth stalkers. We couldn’t wait to get a glimpse of the people who were about to walk in our front door. We passed an unfamiliar car that was driving rather slowly and stopping at other homes in our neighborhood that were for sale. Of course we had to pretend that wed didn’t know they were about to go in our house to look in my underwear drawer, so I pulled my mirror down and pretended to put on makeup. Then we saw the realtor’s car parked at our house. And we knew it was their realtor’s car because it was pretty fancy. So stealthily parked around the corner of our house, turned the car lights off and waited. The car we passed was parked in the driveway too. They had been in the house for 10 minutes. And out the walked. 10 MINUTES!! THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT? WHA?! That wasn’t even enough time for them to realize how awesome and CLEAN our house was?

By the way… do you ever get updates about what people think of your house after a showing? Inquiring minds want to know.

Along with this I can post the pictures of our friends the lurkers who spent several hours talking with us about the process of selling your home and choosing a realtor.
We had it narrowed down between 2 realtors, so the lurkers also helped us with choosing. Jason made us play “Oh Wise Knife” which we ended up using a water bottle so don't go getting any crazy ideas that we play spin the bottle with our friends.
and had Dawson choose a crayon of significant color.
I think he actually had Dawson do this twice because Jason wasn’t sure Dawson knew the impact of the color he was choosing… Thank you lurkers for your hours of expertise.
Thank you male lurker, for teaching Dawson valuable lessons straight from his truck buck...

P.S. Lurker friends-what’s the status on YOUR house?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

4 for $1

That's right. I got 4 Pepsi's for $1.00 yesterday at Wal-Mart. I did not step one foot in Wal-Mart the whole time I was on vacation and I went through withdrawal. Who can beat a 25cent can of Pepsi?
We just got back from spring break to Colorado. I'm so glad Dawson loves airplanes. Although airplane rides past his bedtime can go one of two ways, and we experienced both. On the way to Colorado, he fell asleep on the plane:
On the way home from Colorado he was fine until the last half hour or so. Then Jason nearly freaked out because I let Dawson unbuckle his seat belt and sit on my lap to look at the window. Jason thought surely all stewardesses were going to come running over to us and put us in handcuffs. I didn't see how it was any different than when Dawson flew as a lap baby. So I won. And Dawson was happy. That means I won twice.
Jenessa and Steve picked us up from the airport and we went to their house for supper. A very superb supper I might add. A supper made with Tequila! They also have a cat which I love and am highly allergic too, so Jenessa gave me Benadryl and within an hour I was overcome with the feeling that I needed to sleep. Of course, I forgot I had taken Benadryl so I thought something was wrong with me.
And Jason thought it was funny to take my picture sleeping on their couch drooling on Steve's camo blanket. I really did drool on the blanket, Steve. Sorry.
On the other hand, they have Sydney, the dog that Dawson LOVES.
That weekend some friends of Greg and Gloria's loaned us their cabin, free of charge, for a night. It's located in this little nook (I like that word "nook") called Deckers, Colorado.
You can see behind the cabin that there are trees with no greenery on them and that is because this is the area that caught on fire-Remember several years ago when that lady forest ranger got put in jail for starting a fire in Colorado, she was burning a love letter or something? This area was a part of that fire. You can see the black area on the sides of the cabin where the fire got near it, but the cabin was not engulfed. That's crazy! Jason and I went on a hike in the area and I took a picture of a tree that is completely charred:
Poor tree. I hugged it and it fell over.
Dawson also had his first fishing experience here:
If I were a fish, I'd never be tempted by that nasty smelling bait we used. That's all I'm sayin.
I call this "The Thinker"
I found this quaint little building built into the side of the rock on the way back from our hike. I was creeped out by the inside though, and was confident I was going to be eaten by a spider or venomous snake, though you can't tell it, by looking at my ravishing smile. The inside of the building was carved rock but I can't explain it because I don't have the gift of explanation.
Morning outside the cabin.
After morning outside the cabin.
I climbed all the way up the side of this mountain and didn't fall and die. That should go on record.
Gloria and I on dish duty. Do you see the Joy dish soap?
Greg is about to burn one whole pan of eggs on this glorious restored vintage stove.
We played an hour of "Apples to Apples" and Greg sang the words on his cards. I laughed my head off. Jason won the game but we all know Gloria deserved the win, because we would change our answers once we found out it was her card that we chose. That's what children do, ya know?
It was sunny and in the upper 70's while we were there. I think I got sunburned.
We took Dawson to Chuck E. Cheese for his first time. What does the E. of his name stand for?
This little girl just walked right up and wanted to hold Dawson's foot. Still can't figure that one out.
So I felt the need to reshoot Dawson's video without the foot experience.
You should also know that Dawson flat out refused to go on the clock ride so Jason decided it was his mission to get Dawson on it. All dad's should aspire to this mission. Learn from the best.
Ski ball is my absolute favorite game at Chuck E. Cheese. I realize that statement makes it sound like I spend my weekends there. I have thought about it.
Gloria beat Greg in a ski ball match.
While they were busy competing, I was walking around the building, stealing all the tickets that children left behind.
Is it sad that I was able to belt out the entire Bob the Builder theme song along with this ride?
Dawson was petrified of the Chuck E. Cheese animated statue. I think it was the middle initial that started the whole thing.
Time to go home:
Yes, we're a musical family.
Isn't it funny, how you can see the wheels turning, when children are thinking?:
He was trying to figure out how to get Sophie's cage open.
So we made him take time out in there:
Then we made him nap in there.
What is his affinity to being cooped up anyway? When we got home he did this:
I'm leaving you with one of my most favorite memories of all. The friend Dawson made on the shuttle at the airport. And I know he was his friend because Dawson pointed to him and said "Mommy, I need to sit by my friend":

Friday, March 13, 2009

Happy Birthday Jason!

Today this little man turned 32.
Someone please remind him of that on a regular basis because he continually asks me how old he is.
Actually, every year on his sister's birthday I have to remind him how old she is too.
And I'm terrible with math.
How his obsession with sharks began.
How his obsession with poop began.
I bought him the adult sized version of this outfit for his birthday.
just kidding hon.
I'm afraid he'll have to explain this one.
I have no clue.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Are those Bugle Boy Jeans You're Wearing?

This morning I discovered much to my dismay that I put on my brown shoes with my black pants/socks! I am in complete disarray! My day is ruined. But these shoes are comfortable so I have been hiding my feet. If What Not To Wear comes waltzing into my office I will just tell them that they are missing out on a new trend. Besides that, who wears a gray stripe in your hair at the front of your head like a skunk?
.Moving on.
You know what I've always liked? Well, I took 3 years of Spanish in high school and 2 years of Spanish in college (to fulfill a requirement for my music degree, isn't that a crazy requirement?) and I've always liked how in the written Spanish language, questions begin with a question mark and end with a question mark.
ie: ?Que Pasa?
Except, how do I get the upside down question mark? Because that's my absolute favorite!
.Moving on again.
For whatever reason, Dawson likes to be hemmed in. Well, except when he gets to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart has some strange, unnatural reaction on Dawson's psychosis because each time we go in there, Dawson becomes hyper and runs around and laughs and yells "Mommy" at the top of his lungs and then when Jason and I claim to onlookers that we don't know that unruly kid he decides to run right over and his stake his claim as our son. Speaking of all this, here is a prime example of said Wal-Mart behavior:

He's doing this new thing where he tests us. Yeah, I know. Only Dawson, right? Well, when it's time to get him under control and leave any destination, he finds this to be perfect timing to rebel against our demands. Our reaction to this rebellion is to say "Bye Dawson" and then pretend like we are leaving without him. (This is brilliant parenting 101, take notes). So what does Dawson do? He stands still watching us! He doesn't chase us down or cry. And all the while he keeps a little smirk on his face like, "I'm hip to your jive". So then one of us (the weaker one) has to walk over, physically pick him up and then give him a sucker so he will stop crying. We won't say who the weaker parent is. He did t his just the other night at Wal-Mart. He also does this to me when I come to pick him up at daycare after work. But I got sneaky because I figured out I could hide behind the door and keep it cracked open a little but he can't see me. So this works like a charm every time. He comes running, pushes the door wide open and AHA!
I win.
There's nothing like the sweet victory of beating your toddler at his own game.
This is the toddler I'm up against.
In conclusion,
Can someone tell me what is with toddler's and their need to line things up?
This is not OCD is it? Because you know it runs in the family.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


In light of spring, and the fondness of the new assortment of road kill...
Perhaps I’ve never mentioned my senior year of college and the little family my roommates and I unwittingly welcomed to our humble abode.

There were 6 of us girls living on campus in a brand new trailer (yeah, we were awesome!) that was put near the fence line toward the back of the campus. Since the trailer was brand new, seniors got first dibs. Little did we know what was to become of our future living there…

One day while going about our college business, one by one, each of us came back to our dorm, only to be overwhelmed by the distinct odor of skunk eeking it’s way throughout the whole trailer. Being all girls, of course we remained calm and enjoyed the precious scent, soaking it in, like perfume. Actually, after the panic and the gag reflex we ran around like chickens trying to figure out who to call and what to do. I think one of us had the brilliant idea to get our campus security guy to come and look under the trailer and see if the culprit had made a nice living under there. Sure enough, after some time he found that a little skunk family had taken up residence under our residence. Now if you’ve ever had the pleasure of encountering a skunk and having it spray everything within your surrounding area, you will be able to confirm that you might as well burn everything you own because what removes that smell??

In the following days after they removed the family from under the trailer we did loads upon loads of laundry, burned thousands of candles and sprayed the inside of the trailer with numerous concoctions of anything smelling anti-skunk.

I can vividly recall my very first class I attended after the big hoopla. Word had not yet gotten around about our trailer and its demise. Class was about to begin (Probability and Statistics to be exact) and one student spoke up in the front of the room. “Do any of you smell skunk?”
I was mortified!! Without thinking I blurted out “It’s me!!!” and soon enough the word was out.
But that’s not all. Several weeks passed and my roomie Jennie and I decided to make cupcakes. We got them made and frosted, but something was just not right about them. ..Did you know that skunk smell will invade Crisco when given the opportunity?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Bake Off

Somewhere in the dark recesses of his brain, Jason got a hankering to bake bread on Sunday.
He claims he has no idea what got into him, but he went to the kitchen and got started. After about a half an hour's worth of time I hear him screaming and ranting and raving something about flour and the recipe isn't right and on and on, so I go in the kitchen to have a look:
He asked me to check the recipe to see how much flour he should have used.
He just so happened to look past the portion that said "carefully add the remaining flour" that was located toward the bottom of the very first paragraph.
I laughed quite hardThen I thought, hmmm. I can bake bread better than you!
And so it was on.
Jason decided to add more flour to his mass of sticky goo and called it good. This is what he came up with:
A frowning loaf of bread.
But then he decided to go all creative, so while I was in the process of using a different recipe to bake my bread, he made this:
A crooked dough braid. Not bad though, for a novice.
Once my bread was finished, risen, and baked take a look at what a fine specimen I made:

That's right. A happy loaf.
And then I got jealous and decided I should be creative.
So I took some dough and put it in one of my pampered chef scalloped tins...
Yeah. Looks like a boo-nasty bread bullet among other things.
Jason thought his bread braid was the best thing since MarioKart, so he braided my remaining dough. Which, I might say turned out better with MY dough than with his..
If you really want to know the truth of the matter...
Jason's bread tasted better.But my bread was more aesthetically pleasing to the eye.
Which, consequently is all that matters to be featured in a magazine.