Friday, March 7, 2008

Letter to Spell Check

Dear Spell Check:

I'm quite concerned with your spelling abilities. Mainly because I was nearly my school's 5th grade spelling bee champion and I feel that I have adequate spelling skills on most occasions (unless I'm in a hurry) but you don't seem to think I'm capable. And, you don't even know me.

Today you put a very red underline under my words "ha ha" in an email. When you are laughing in an email, how do you spell it? I spell that "ha ha". Isn't that reasonable? Am I over stepping my spelling boundaries? You don't even give me other options for that.

On another occasion I was well pleased to emphasize the importance of a day I was excited about in all caps. But you would have none of it! "Friday cannot be capitalized!" "Off with her head!" But this time, I didn't even get the red underline rejection. You corrected it for me! I didn't want it corrected. Oh woe is me. Oooh but I have learned ways to get around your shenanigans. I bet you're dying to fix that word. I'm the ultimate spell check hacker. Sometimes I click "ignore" when you want to fix a word I like to use, such as "hmph". There are no vowels in that word but I believe that it clearly defines my feelings of angry resignation to something. Don't you?
Spell check, don't you think I have feelings? Do you have feelings? I would let you capitalize Friday if you really felt that great about it. I would.

I want to end this letter on a good note. There have been many of times over the course of my computer literate years that I have been so grateful for the use of spell check. Mainly on papers I wrote for college in the wee hours of the morning with only Mountain Dew to keep me awake. You were there for me. "Tut-tut, you misspelled the word the" and clearly, a college student should not be making such ridiculous mistakes in a paper for a composition class! So thank you spell check! Should your name be capitalized? Because I didn't do that just now...


Angela said...

I found a comment from you on our blog. I recognize your face in the family picture on your blog. I recognize the sarcasm in your writing. I tried to email you, but it came back and said something about permanent error. I wonder, are you who I think you are? :)

Dani said...

Joy... Oh, she's so funny... (To quote what Kate always used to say after she first met you.) You are a funny one Joyous! Thank you for the smile -- it started my day off right. :)
I like your new blog colors. I too am dying to create a new blog header... if only I had a working computer. For now, I will just have to admire yours -- Great job!
Miss You!!

Miss Pink Ponsonby said...

yore email ahs spill shiker? Eyed licke that progrma, pleaz. Mines duzn't have ti.