Letter to Spell Check

Dear Spell Check:

I'm quite concerned with your spelling abilities. Mainly because I was nearly my school's 5th grade spelling bee champion and I feel that I have adequate spelling skills on most occasions (unless I'm in a hurry) but you don't seem to think I'm capable. And, you don't even know me.

Today you put a very red underline under my words "ha ha" in an email. When you are laughing in an email, how do you spell it? I spell that "ha ha". Isn't that reasonable? Am I over stepping my spelling boundaries? You don't even give me other options for that.

On another occasion I was well pleased to emphasize the importance of a day I was excited about in all caps. But you would have none of it! "Friday cannot be capitalized!" "Off with her head!" But this time, I didn't even get the red underline rejection. You corrected it for me! I didn't want it corrected. Oh woe is me. Oooh but I have learned ways to get around your shenanigans. I bet you're dying to fix that word. I'm the ultimate spell check hacker. Sometimes I click "ignore" when you want to fix a word I like to use, such as "hmph". There are no vowels in that word but I believe that it clearly defines my feelings of angry resignation to something. Don't you?

Spell check, don't you think I have feelings? Do you have feelings? I would let you capitalize Friday if you really felt that great about it. I would.

I want to end this letter on a good note. There have been many of times over the course of my computer literate years that I have been so grateful for the use of spell check. Mainly on papers I wrote for college in the wee hours of the morning with only Mountain Dew to keep me awake. You were there for me. "Tut-tut, you misspelled the word the" and clearly, a college student should not be making such ridiculous mistakes in a paper for a composition class! So thank you spell check! Should your name be capitalized? Because I didn't do that just now...