Friday, March 21, 2014

Bringing Up Boys

I have found that I'm a I've been stressing out about my boringness on a rather steep incline but it's compounded when I see things posted on FaceBook by mom's that are awesome. Stupid awesome moms. Lower the standard for the rest of us. Sheesh.
So I was going back through pictures to find anything that might give me a glimmer of hope that I have some fun in me. But I didn't find anything. So I'm posting other pictures instead. Sorry to disappoint. 
Actually, to prove my point, here's a picture of Evan who managed to snag the mouse that belongs to the $20 dollar Discovery laptop that Dawson got for Christmas one year. He grabbed his "Curly Finds a Home" book and used it for a mouse pad. Just like he sees his mom do on a daily basis for work. 
I guess I am fun after all.
Then there's the time I was too busy to play so he grabs all of the pots and pans from the cabinet and then ignores them and eats pencil lead instead. Disclaimer: I took the pencil away before any lead could be consumed. 

This one was Jason's idea. We bought Evan a "Market Trolley" yes, that's what the little shopping cart is officially called if you purchase one sold at Ross -why don't they make them in blue? I see litigation over that in my future. Evan prefers sitting in it to watch movies with Dawson rather than pushing it around the house to pretend he's shopping. I'd rather sit in a shopping cart watching a movie than go shopping too. I'm in that -.0002% of girls that hate to shop.
Jason is a great, fun dad though. He taught the boys how to play poker.

You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run. I cropped out the part of the picture where Jason's belly was hanging out of his jacket. You're welcome.
Jason makes Dawson look like he has pop-eye arms using the fish-eye lens of our camera. Kinda creepy actually.
You know who has personality in our family is Dawson. One time I wasn't doing a very good job of keeping an eye on Evan. I knew he was in Dawson's room playing so I let him be. Only, he was in Dawson's room playing by himself so I shouldn't have let him be. After about 15 minutes of time passed by, Dawson wanted something from his room and began yelling "Mommeeeee" in a squeaky upset voice. I told him I'd be there in a minute. After several minutes, I made my way to his room to find out Evan had been running back and forth from the bathroom to Dawson's room with toilet paper and toilet paper squares, depositing them like confetti on the floor. 

Dawson made the best of that situation:
I found a picture of him I took around Christmas time after he had taken the heating pads out of the kitchen towel drawer and put them on his feet and told me he was ice skating.

Evan is also a goof ball, but I can't get many pictures of him acting that way to use as supporting evidence. We got Dawson's old spider-man back pack out of his closet and put it on Evan to wear. I'm convinced he felt he had been transformed into a GQ model.
Just a few days ago I was getting dressed and he made himself at home in my dresser drawer with a notebook and a pencil. The picture I got of him makes it seem as though I'm invading his private and personal realm of space where he goes to ponder and write out his feelings on life. He must not realize that's the drawer where I keep my sweaty workout t-shirts. 
Yesterday I spent about an hour perusing Pinterest trying to find anything that would make me fun. "Busy Bags, Crafts for Kids, How to Make Your Kids Think You're Fun without Putting Forth Much Effort". I bookmarked a few things hoping it would add a little zest to our spring break while Dawson is home next week. 
Then I came across this picture:
As long as they're happy, I'm happy.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Exercise: Motivation and Skill

Do you lack the motivation to exercise? 
Join the club. No, literally. I'm sure there's a club that you can join, you just have to find it. I can't help you there, because I'm too lazy to look.

I actually enjoy exercising. I also enjoy eating but that's a whole other issue that you can see being discussed here

Please consider the following suggestions as motivation to exercise:

  1. The before and after pictures. Of course, you can always photoshop yourself and bypass the exercise. So. Forget number one. We'll go on.
  2. More energy. Years down the road after you've gotten used to exercising. Because when you're not used to exercise, you'll be tired when you're done. Otherwise my advice is to drink 3 cups of espresso in rapid succession for immediate energy boost gratification. You'll crash in an hour and crave junk food. Just fyi. Then you'll need to exercise to work off the junk food.
  3. Skinny jeans. NO. I hate skinny jeans and they do not compliment any body type. Please don't use them for motivation to exercise. And don't wear them. And don't buy them. And don't look at them. 
  4. (insert your motivation to exercise here by leaving a comment because I like comments and I'll do anything to get them.)
I have in my possession exercise DVDs of all variations. Mostly "The Firm" videos. Because I thought they would make me firm. My knee cap has gone from a size 2 1/2 to a size 2. I can nearly wear shorts this summer now. And really, I'm surprised "People Magazine" hasn't contacted me for their "1/2 their size" segment. With my knee cap featured with the wind blowing the hairs on it. 
 And I'll bet you're all wondering how I manage to exercise often and keep my knee caps in such great shape.
I'm about to tell you.

First, I don my perpetually sweaty smelly workout clothes. These are the same clothes I wear to WalMart so I practically feel like I'm exercising while I'm at WalMart, and technically I think I really am because the place is so huge that most mall walkers have quit going to the mall to walk around there instead. I just made that part up about mall walkers but I wouldn't be surprised. 

Next, I deceive myself. I put away all thoughts of my dumpy pathetic body doing the cardio moves and replace that image to pretend I have the body of Allison Davis who led the workout I did today. She's skinny and all, but she has a twang, so I also have to envision that she's using a Midwest accent. If I'm fully engaged in the exercise however, I talk over her in a British accent and smile the entire time.

I wonder how fitness instructors are able to smile and talk through the entire workout.

Finally, I encourage myself. I say:  "Self, just finish this, because as soon as you're finished you can have CHOCOLATE". Chocolate is a good motivator. 

If your biggest concern with exercise is skill, do a butt clench. Right now. There. See! You just exercised! Now you can stop fearing and start butt clenching your way to healthier you. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Meme of 2008

Random FYI Meme

Back in the year of 2008 in the month of August to be exact, I was tagged in another friends blog for this Random FYI Meme. I didn't know I was tagged so I never did it. Nor did I know what a Meme was or how to pronounce it. 
It's never too late.

Rules Once Tagged:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger (who tagged you) know when your post is up.

Random FYI:
I was voted "Most Generous" in high school. I'm pretty sure that was a mistake and should have gone to Oprah but she wasn't in my graduating class. Or my high school.
  1. I make the bed every morning. Unless I'm too lazy and then I don't make the bed until just before it's time to get into bed because I don't like going to bed if the bed isn't made.
  2.  Jason was listed in the "Who's Who of America's High School Students" and his mom bought the book. Not that it's a scam or anything.
  3. Sometimes Often I throw away papers and items that Dawson brings home from school because I'm not a hoarder and I'm anti-clutter and this has led to me digging through the trash to find said item. Like this morning. When I had to dig through the trash full of onions because I made home made French Onion soup yesterday, and on the way to drop Dawson off at school this morning he jabbered on about this candle he made on Pioneer Day last week and could we burn it and he would show me how. I told him of course we could. And now I must shower 27 times to rid myself of onion trash.
  4. I didn't tell Jason that I had to dig through the trash this morning to get Dawson's Pioneer Day candle.
  5. I don't like milk. Or Kool-Aid. Though I have used Kool-Aid to dye my hair.

Those I am tagging:
1. Felicia Louise. Start a blog now.
2. Shadow Lynn. Start a blog now.
3. Holly: Life, Love & Laughter
4. The Bigelow Blog
5. Carrie: Life, Love & All Things Jazz
6. Kelsey: The Wind in My Sails because I forgot that she has a blog and she needs to do it