Thursday, June 28, 2018


Life happened and I didn't post about my birthday, Mother's Day, the end of the school year or the time that I found a set of brand new Wizard of Oz Itty Bitty's at the Goodwill Outlet for $2 and then sold on eBay for $65. 
I turned 41 in April and as birthdays go, this one was uncelebrated and low key which is very unlike me. Ordinarily I like to announce my birthday at least two months in advance to give people a sufficient amount of time to prepare and save. Before it came around however, I quit all social media which was my main source of advertising myself.
My birthday fell on a Sunday so before church, Jason let me have Starbucks. 

After service we went to Cheddar's. Usually I eat the cheddar cheese fries as my main meal, but Jason said I could order it as an appetizer and order a main meal as well! this is like telling a pig It can have the slop AND the stuff the goat's are having!
It was during this time that Jason gave me my birthday present. He gave me my birthday card which had nothing in it, and there was no bag and no wrapped present. This meant there would most likely be a discussion about how we would share custody of the kids after the divorce. Then he started to panic and began asking me if my phone was working. Several minutes went by and I received this text:
An iPhone 8 for my birthday present! Oh how the pointless and random pictures I take for my blog would be so much prettier!
Also. Google celebrated. 
Ever since some moron decided that my birthday should be shared with the earth, I receive challenges from my Apple Watch rather than a "Happy Birthday Joy" message. The message wasn't nearly as blurry on my watch though. Apple Watch makes me exercise on my birthday! They're a bunch of outlaws if you ask me.
I retaliated with homemade rice krispy treats dipped in chocolate. 
That's about all I've got to say about my birthday. Then Mother's Day rolled around. I don't think my kids really acknowledge the day so much without their dad telling them "here give this card to your mom" but I still require them to have their picture taken with me so that they can remember that I was their mother some day.
But Dawson wrote me a sweet note:
 And Evan drew me a picture in which he depicted me at my perfect weight, so I was feeling pretty great about the world in general.
We also went out to eat somewhere that I can't remember now which tells me I should have made a different restaurant choice.
I received a gift card to get a pedicure. Here it is the end of June and my toes are still hanging onto the remnants of that pedicure because that's how lazy I am everybody.

In the midst of all of this, we were in the process of redoing our kitchen. We are actually super duper close to finishing up that little project and of course I'll a do a blog post about the big reveal. So don't go binge watch anything on Netflix and miss it.

Monday, June 25, 2018

Road Trip: Magnolia Market

We recently embarked on a journey that led us through mountains and valleys, vast terrain with no civilization for miles, and heat that could melt your dentures. Probably.
Jason had a work event in Arlington, TX. After some discussion we decided that we could turn his trip into a family road trip. So we loaded up the rental car, took a selifie and lived to tell about it.
I vowed to myself that I would make it at least 5 miles before asking for a bathroom break and I totally succeeded by at least 1/4 of a mile. So I celebrated by purchasing an energy drink. Not really on the energy drink. I think they smell like cat pee.
There is basically nothing between Colorado and Arlington, TX. Since I didn't take any pictures of said nothing, you can picture 2 fighting children in the backseat of a vehicle, one parent with headphones ignoring said children and one parent driving while simultaneously turning up the music to drown out the sound of fighting children. Done. 
Our first stop in Arlington was to this famous little burger chain called In-N-Out Burger. I'd never been to this chain before and was expecting great things!
 My own personal opinion is that Burger King and Red Robin had a baby named In-N-Out. I didn't get goosebumps or anything when I ate my food is what I'm trying to say. But I would eat there again. I'm not sending out petitions to picket the place or anything. I'll get to that place in just a bit.
 We stayed in this nice little hotel with a room that remained clean for the first 10 seconds it took me to snap this picture.
Upon arrival, Jason had to get to Cowboys stadium in order to help set up for the work event so while the boys were changing for me to take them to the pool, I attempted a video call with my sisters, who will hate me if they happen upon this post and see that I posted one of the pictures I took while on the call. 
I gave myself a crown because that's how my family rolls. 
 My boys are convinced that swimming was given to us by God as a treasure that should never be taken for granted. Sort of how I feel about chocolate. Therefore I had to call on the powers of the fire department, the police department and the FBI to come and remove them from the pool every time we needed to leave to do awful tasks such as eat.
 At one point while I was checking my activity level on my watch, I discovered that I had hit a milestone. 100,000 steps/50 miles in one week. And if you glance closely at the picture you'll see Jason's farmer's tan.
The first 2 days were spent with me and the boys at the hotel pool while Jason worked. The boys would have been content to do this very thing the entire week, but we actually planned some things.
The first outing was to the Legoland Discovery Center.
It wasn't a far drive but me and the boys took selfies in the car anyway. 
 I was very concerned when we arrived and I saw that the entrance was down an alley that was next to a dumpster and train crate.
But it turned out that I was on the back side of the center.
I think we should have had a bit more of a clue as to what we were getting ourselves into when we realized the place was located inside a shopping mall.
But we paid for our tickets and continued.  The Lego displays were super cute.
The first thing we did was hop on a ride. We sat down in the car that was on the track (Dawson and Evan in the seats in front of Jason and I) and the car took us around while we shot at various Lego villains. Toward the end of the ride, our car stopped and a lady came over a loud speaker announcing that the people in our party have to sit down or she was going to require us to get off the ride. I looked at Dawson and Evan and they weren't standing. I could see them the entire time and they never stood up nor did they try to, so I was a little flabbergasted. At the end of the ride, we got off and the lady told us she could see the boys standing on her video plain as day. I told her I thought maybe she was looking at a different car and not us and she adamantly told us it was ours. I argued some more and could see I was getting nowhere so we just left. After I stuck my gum in her hair when she wasn't looking. No I didn't do that! I wasn't chewing gum. On our way out, we saw an entrance for an interactive 3-D movie so we went in there. The movie was cute and we were squirted with water and had blizzard like freezing wind blown us, but we still liked it. 
The boys found a Lego R2D2.
Darth Maul
And I found Yoda. Wait. I mean. Yoda did I find.
There was a small section in the center with a miniature Lego site.
By this time, we had only been here about 45 minutes and had already arrived at the last ride. Jason wouldn't go on it because it spinned. This forced Dawson to ride by himself and he wasn't too happy about that.
As part of the admission, there was a splash pad outside that they had closed down (for reasons unknown to us) that we would have gone to but couldn't so that was a downer as well.We were so disappointed with the experience (especially due to the exorbitant price) that Jason actually gave me the receipt and I went and asked for our money back. The manager was very gracious and gave it back to us. So I used it to buy myself 100 Starbucks drinks.
On the way back to our hotel, the boys fell asleep. I had no idea they were even tired. I also don't understand why Evan put socks on his hands.
On Tuesday we went to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor water park
Evan has a thing now with bunny ears in pictures and I don't know where he learned it.
 The boys were most looking forward to the wave pool. If only it had stayed this empty throughout the day...
i just discovered that the following picture is the last one I took at the water park. While most people had their phones carried around their necks in these water tight phone cases that sealed, I left mine in a locker and called it a day. Can you believe I survived a whole day without a phone? Tell the world! It's really possible! 
The water park was fun and not overly crowded (except for the wave pool). If we ever go again I've made a mental note to wear water shoes though, because the concrete was burning hot. The concession stands were very slow and by the time Jason and Dawson met Evan and I at our spot with the food, Evan and I had succumbed to scrounging scraps of off the ground which caused a great amount of angst for the birds.
 On Wednesday which was our last day, we went to Magnolia Market in Waco. I've seen Fixer Upper a few times and my sister got me a subscription to Magnolia magazine for a gift a while back. Jason bought me their book The Magnolia Story last year and I felt the only thing left was to visit place in order for my following to be truly cult-like.
 I actually didn't know much about Magnolia Market. Only something about their being silos and that it was located in Texas.  But I was actually surprised that the place was so small. Basically, read that to mean "don't build a whole vacation around a trip to Magnolia Market". If you have a vacation already planned and one of the stops is Magnolia Market, then by all means go. But we ran into a group of women who had shirts made that said "Magnolia Bound") and I thought to mfyself "self, if you and your sisters take a girls trip and have shirts made, make sure they say "Cancun Bound, with a slight detour to Magnolia Market".
 It wasn't super busy when we got there. We got in a short line to purchase a treat at the baking building.
 Jason and Dawson both had cupcakes, Evan had a sugar cookie and I had a chocolate filled crescent roll. Everything was delicious! Just outside of the baking building and beside the market is an area with picnic tables where we sat and ate. This area is surrounded by food trucks, and in the middle is an open space with turf where kids and families can set out games such as corn hole to play.

 Finally we went into the market.
I told my sisters I would Video call them again when I got to the market so that they could glean all the ideas they need in order to copy them for their houses.
Upon entering, you could buy a bag for $58 to put your items in. This told me that I would probably leave without a purchase unless it was the stem of a flower that was on sale.
I really wanted to buy one of these white magnolia mugs. But after much deliberation, I decided that eventually someone would visit, buy a mug as a "I visited here and you didn't so here's your gift from there" present and then the receiver would donate the new mug which would end up at my Goodwill Outlet where I would get it for 50 cents. Thank you giver and receiver.
I found the sale table.
I loved this desk. I also contemplated the legal changing of our last name to something beginning with the letter X in order to hang one on a wall in our home.
 Love these signs.
The boys ditched the shopping in no time. Apparently they have no eye for cotton on display in rustic charm. 
So we loaded onto the free trolley which took us downtown to explore.
Jason had read about a shopping place called Spice Village.
This place is definitely worth the trip downtown. This is the entrance:
 Even the restroom is cute!
 I nearly bought this sign:
I took a picture of these light fixtures for my sister K because I knew she would love them
 And I'm asking for someone to buy me this sign for Christmas:
On our walk back to the trolley stop, we were searching for a candy store and we came across an old movie theater called The Hippodrome.
We stopped inside to see what was playing and they had Han Solo showing for $5.00 per ticket! We also found out that it was a dinner theater. I've never been to a theater where you could eat and watch a movie that wasn't at my home. So I was in.
We had the entire theater to ourselves. A kind lady brought us a menu.
The movie started while we were deciding on our order and I thought it would be cool to get a picture of the title shot of the movie, which didn't work out and Dawson yelled at me because I used the flash and he was embarrassed.
We ordered pretzels and popcorn. I missed the first half of the movie because I was so taken with the fact that we got to order food that I practically memorized the menu.
We have to actually rent the movie when it comes out so that way I can watch it with subtitles because that's how I operate.
After the movie we walked to the candy store where I had the genius idea of buying chocolate covered cinnamon bears which melted instantly the moment we left the building. We realized how close we were to Magnolia from there and walked back to our car, which afforded me the opportunity to take a rare photo of the backside of Magnolia Market. You're welcome.
And that is the story of exciting adventures in Texas where it's so hot you have to an air conditioner for your air conditioner.
The End.