Friday, October 6, 2017

Reality Check

Before the year 2017 comes to a conclusion, we are embarking on a family vacation that rivals all others we've taken.
Because of this, I felt now is an appropriate time to document our daily life in order to ensure that the world is knowledgeable of what a truly un-glamourous lifestyle is really like. Bonus: It's totally attainable by the average citizen.
To begin, we currently have a comforter on our bed in the master bedroom that is unlike any other I've seen. Not even when dumpster diving.
I totally plan to Pinterest this picture. It's bedding from Target, after all.
For the sake of full disclosure, we're zooming in.
I've always wondered what the inside of my comforter looks like. Said no one ever.
 If you'll take a little glance at the left side of the picture toward the top of the bed, you'll see another nice little rip. I keep that hidden with pillows. 
Lately I've been experimenting with this hair try-on app. I actually think the app is great and it does give you an accurate depiction of what you can expect if you color/cut your hair. I've personally found my goal: Looking like an abandoned sheepherder dog was the look I never knew I wanted.
For whatever reason, this picture reminds me that a friend of mine recently introduced me to a feature on Snapchat that allows you to create funny videos and we have been texting them back and forth to each other. Dawson, Evan and I all created a video.
The weather here in CO has recently changed from high 90's to cooler temps in the 50's and cloudy. This kind of weather doesn't last long here, as we have mostly sunny days, believe it or not. But my husband was not prepared to turn the heat on in our house in order to accommodate said cooler temperatures and several days ago I found myself in sweats, a sweatshirt, thick socks and wrapped in a blanket on a morning when it was 40 degrees outside. Because... this:
This was how said husband decided to remedy the situation:
Yes, a tiny space heater to warm our entire downstairs. Also available for your viewing pleasure is the fact that we are in the process of redoing our kitchen and we've been without cupboard doors for weeks. This doesn't bother me however, because I'm lazy and the effort it takes to open a cupboard door is nonexistent now.
As far as the boys are concerned, we have one low maintenance kids and one high maintenance kid. Basically, any maintenance required is high maintenance in this stage of my life. Probably because I'm 40 and I just want to sit and stare.
Dawson frequently amazes me with his Lego artistry. He stays holed up in his room for hours on end building MOCs (for those of you that aren't fluent in Lego, that means "My Own Creation") for his YouTube Channel.
For reality's sake I'll mention that Dawson can be a camera hog. I went outside to film Evan learning to ride his bike without training wheels...
Evan might be the most expressive child I've ever known. He uses descriptive words such as "massive, ginormous and insane" right along with hand gestures to make a point.
If Dawson is asking me to take a picture of something, Evan wants his picture taken as well, and he'll pose quickly in order expedite the process.
The other day when we went shoe shopping, I heard Evan mumbling his frustration about something in the back seat. Suddenly, he was proud of himself for accomplishing something he'd been working hard on and wanted me to look.
Apparently, getting one of those nylon hose socks on your head is harder than most criminals make it look.
Dawson didn't struggle nearly as much which leads me to believe he's matured in his criminal activity.
I will say that when the boys play Xbox together it's like the Hatfield/McCoy feud in our house.
 I yell, I threaten. Evan stomps off in tears and Dawson tries to talk Evan into letting him have his way with the game for just a few minutes. This makes Evan scream no from whatever place in the house he's landed to pout, and the chaos usually results in me declaring the game must be turned off and get me chocolate.
No, I've been without chocolate for about 2 months now. I've been doing this eating plan called "Eat Fat, Get Thin". So really, I yell for someone to get me bulletproof coffee, my new favorite drink which also makes me smart.
And I've suddenly run out of anti-glamour talk. Can you believe it?
I'm sure there's more where this came from.
Peace Out.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are so much more entertaining than those silly, insipid (ask Evan if you need to know what that means. . . . I'm sure he will tell you, with appropriate hand gestures.) blogger women who show boring perfect photos of their totally fake home interiors. I personally LOVE the photo of Dawson being all gangsta, and am certain that shot will go viral the second someone discovers his Lego building famousness. The only 'down' side of this post is that I already know what the inside of my comforter looks like, because I'm that kind of person, and because it is 'down'. Yours is fake 'down'. Just sayin'. Otherwise, I hope beyond hope that you took precautionary before photos of your kitchen, because in this family enquiring minds will need to know.

Your Elder