Saturday, March 23, 2013

Love Points for Dummies

The credit for the title of this book post goes to my brother-in-law.
I will keep all royalties from the sale though. No worries.
Depending on how much money I make from the royalties, Tim, I might buy you a lottery ticket.
The idea behind this post all began one blustery day (actually, I have no idea if the day was blustery. What if it wasn't?! Will book sales lower dramatically?) when my sister Anita left the first "happy birthday" comment for my nephew on FaceBook. When I say "first" I mean that she beat me to it.
My sister is on Indiana time, and therefore her day begins 2 hours before my day begins. So technically I was first. You can read all about the importance of being first and last in the bible. Back to the point. My sister left the first happy birthday comment for my nephew. However, my happy birthday comment, which came next in line, was in ALL CAPS.
I know, right?
Before I go any further, I am going to make you privy to how this all went down:
(hint: click on the picture to enlarge it, and therefore, I cannot be held liable for any squinting that ensues)
If many of you are feeling offended at this moment because you think that I think you're a dummy that's too bad. My sister Bobbie has a series of CDs you can listen to about not taking offense. So.
I thought this was a great topic for me to explore for several reasons.
  1. I know how to assign value to love.
  2. I'm a dummy.
  3. Point charts are for people that are OCD and I'm one of those people.
Let's begin by assessing what love actually is, shall we? I'm going to give you my own definition because it's my book. Love is a verb. Yes. I stole that from D.C. Talk because I don't have all day to come up with a better definition. Going by that definition, it makes it easy to assign point values to love prompted actions.
This is how the points system works.

1. The more loving you are, the more points you get.

I need to interrupt for just a moment to ask if anyone can tell me why squid is called calamari when it's fried? Why isn't it called squid? Extra love points are awarded to anyone who can answer this. Even more are given to the first person to answer.

2. If you are the first person to show love to another, you are awarded bonus points.
3.  Points accumulate on a daily basis.
 And there you have it.
I just scored points for writing all of this.
It's time to get started. Go.
Yes. I'll autograph your book.


sister Karen said...

ohh my are the most hilarious person on the face of the earth. I love you with all my heart!
I really needed a laugh like this today joy dawn bless your heart :)

Anonymous said...

I love you and your family - so glad we are friends. I love your hair and wish I had it, it is so pretty, shiny and long. My present to you is taking Dawson for the night and better yet, giving him back to you with my son attached (have fun with that). I will always listen to you talking, you are hilarious and your stories amuse me. I will also have your back, especially if someone doesn't want to treat you right, BBC or GBC. TEE HEE HEE. And last but not least, Calamari is called Calamari because no one wants to say at a restraunt "Hey, (well first we wouldn't say "hey" cuz that is rude) I want to eat some FRIED SQUID" - that just sounds gross. Ok, add those points up. OK, let me just say, I didn't do that for points, I did that because it was fun and I really do love you - T

Anita said...

I say let Anonymous have ALL the points!! I cant compete with that just because of the fact that they live closer to you and can take your children for a day. Doesnt get much better then that!! I LOVE and Miss you Joy even though you are trying to steal my glory from being the first person to comment happy Birthday to my nephew Corbin!! Just to be on the safe side from now on maybe you should post before u go to bed the night before... :)