The Birthdays & The Star Wars Costume Exhibit

February is a month full of birthdays. Really. I'm willing to bet someone has a birthday on every single day of the entire month. This is a family oriented blog and I don't endorse gambling. However, my dad used to give me lottery tickets sometimes as my Christmas present, and I'm pretty sure I won $1 once. So. Don't mess with me.

Dawson and Evan celebrate their birthdays one week apart. Let me encourage future parents out there to spread the love (literally) and shoot for a distance of at least 3 months between the birth of your children. Birthdays are expensive. If I were Obama, I'd have added a Birthday Fund insurance stipulation to his crappy ObamaCare. Maybe I would've bought in. 

Dawson sort of had a perpetual birthday celebration. Saturday the 18th was his actual birthday but that weekend was a holiday weekend and all of his buddies had plans. The nerve. So Jason and I surprised him with his gift from us:The Lego Detective Modular Building:

And then we went as a family to see the new Lego Batman Movie

 Jason got us tickets to the Star Wars Costume Exhibit in Denver a few days later.

 

 We stayed the night in Denver at had to check out of our hotel a few hours before our time slot to see the exhibit. So we had to get clever in order to keep the boys entertained. First on the agenda was this sculpture of a broom and dust pan:

 Let me clue you in on Jason's weird pose:

 Several floors of the museum were open even though we couldn't go the 2nd floor exhibit just yet. So we explored.

This is Jason using his artistic abilities to design a costume for a screenplay:

 Evan gave it a shot too, except he ended up scribbling directly on the screen board because he got tired of the paper. Oops.

  We moved on to another hall where Jason and Dawson pondered art:

Confession: I DO NOT HAVE AN APPRECIATION FOR ART.

There. I said it. Maybe I'll expound on the nonsense of art in a blog post someday. Wouldn't that be exciting? 

What's more exciting you say?

I present to you:The Star Wars Costume Exhibit. 

 We were given a listening device with programmed information about each exhibit.

This is Obi-Wan Kenobi's light saber. I could see that he had wiped a booger on it.

 I found the information about his robe most interesting. If my stomach was made of wool, I'd be so skinny.

 On display were Chewbacca's costume cooling system and size 17 yak-fur shoes.

 Speaking of shoes... We all know who started the biggest boot trend of the 21st century:

I counted and nearly 1 out of every 2 females were wearing Han Solo boots at the exhibit. Including me. 

 When I spied Rey from a distance I got excited. Rogue One is pretty much the only Star Wars movie I've been able to somewhat understand. Plus, her style in clothes is 100% me and I would have worn this outfit to the Oscars. Speaking of Oscars. I'm wondering: Has a comedy ever won an Oscar?

I need to know.

 

 Evan calls Finn "F121N87" Close enough.

 Stormtroopers! I also like their style. My second choice for the Red Carpet.

 Evan was giddy with excitement when we came upon "Baby 8, C-3O and R2-D2". And that's saying something because the entire day was met with Evan whining "This day is so boring! I'm so tired of this day" unending like a song on repeat. 

When I came upon Princess Amidala's dress, I found a museum representative and asked if they give it to me on loan to reenact my senior prom. The dress I had was a hand-me-down from my sister. I was just thinking a Princess Amidala hand-me-down would automatically have scored me a date.

 Darth Vader everybody! I used the force to knock his head off. It was funny.

 The last display was Yoda. My sister B considers herself a "linen maven" and would like to wear Yoda's outfit to the Oscars. As you can see in the photo, Jason and Evan refused to join me for the photo op. If I had known how strange my picture would have turned out, I would have refused too.

I think it's important to note that Evan perfected one of his favorite quotes during this trip:

Dawson's birthday the continuing saga:

He got to have a sleepover with a few of his best buddies. Since I won the Xbox, I thought I was probably the coolest mom ever but Dawson only has 1 game that incorporates 4 players. So they played Minecraft for hours.

 We ordered pizza and then Dawson got his birthday cupcake.

Boys.Are.Loud.

Opening his presents was the highlight of the night. 

 After a round of NyQuil (by me. I'll administer NyQuil to all guests at his 16th birthday party) the boys woke up and I talked them into playing Lego Creationary (who knew Lego had board games?!) You have to roll the dice, draw a card and then construct the design on the card with Legos. 

 

 Speaking of Legos. Dawson was inspired by all of his gifts to create a Lego City in his room.

And that ends Dawson's foreverlong birthday. Now to Evan's one-stop-shop.

To celebrate Evan's 5th birthday, we had his party at Monkey Bizness. 

This was a brilliant idea because teenagers take care of all your needs and our house didn't get destroyed.

 My neighbor Carol brought her granddaughter Katelyn to the party. But Carol had more fun.

 Party moms.

 We provided snacks and encouraged all the munchkins to have a seat and eat.

 Evan is still loving Star Wars so we ordered a themed cake. Because I'm too lazy to bake.

We sang. This rendition is amazingly more stable than the version from Dawson's party.

Evan was memorialized on the chalkboard. 

 Then it was time to open gifts. I think parents should slip a little gift in the mix for the mom's of the celebrated child. This would boost morale.

 See the huge bin in the background designated for gifts? I hid in there until the festivities were over. I was tired.

And that concludes a super enormously long post dedicated to Dawson's 11th birthday and Evan's 5th birthday. 

Jason turns 40 next month. Can you imagine how long that post will be?

2017: The Great Hair Disaster

As you all know, daily every now and then I go through a hair crisis which is similar to a mid-life crisis only it's different because it's about hair. During this time frame, I convince myself that I'm in desperate need for a change and I need to either cut my hair off or dye it blonde. Or both.

I was chatting about this with my BFF Kelly and she began sending me pictures of cuts she liked. She sent me a picture of a cut I loved and BONUS, I'm basically twins with Tiffany Amber Thiessen. Except for the hair. And face.

Kelly also promptly told me that I'm to forgo blonde and go darker just like the picture. So I set out to become Tiffany Amber Thiessen with a different face. Because I'm no stalker.

I made an appointment immediately at a salon I've never been to before which was scary beyond all reason on the inside. I wasn't traumatized though, until I overheard the elderly woman sitting behind me in the waiting area telling a story about a woman she knows that got her finger chopped off in a blender. Right away I sent a message to Kelly and told her what I was experiencing and asked her if I should go through with the hair cut. She said yes but wanted to know if I've ever seen Sweeney Todd. To which I replied:

I told the stylist that I wanted my hair cut and colored EXACTLY LIKE THE PICTURE. I also asked her if that would be possible and she made it very clear that she could handle my request. I put my trust in her and watched my hair dive precariously from my head to the floor. See. Just laying there lifeless like giant clumps of baby monkeys.

When she was finished, I didn't look anything like the picture. Granted, she didn't have to style my hair, just blow dry it. And this was the result.

Okay, this was really how it looked. I was super disappointed. But I didn't want to ugly cry in the salon.

When I got home, I though I'd straighten it to see if I could get it to look like the picture and that didn't work either. 

I made up my mind to get a new appointment somewhere else to have it fixed.

Big, Ginourmous, Huge, Stupid Mistake. 

I showed a new stylist my hair and she explained that my bangs weren't blended and showed me how thick my hair was on top and that it needed it thinned out. She went to work and when she was done, THIS was the result. 

Only I'm 1 pound heavier.

Okay, this was really the result. 

In case you're wondering, that sweatshirt is currently my favorite and I wear it almost everyday until it's full of toothpaste stains.I'm not willing to share a face shot of this cut. It would even make Gollum cry.

I've worn my hair in a pony tail ever since. I'm not even lying. 

Does it bother anyone that the pony tail holders don't match? 

As the distress and depression of the situation sank in, my other BFF Stephanie suggested it would be fine if I straightened it and asked if I had a Chi straightener because in her words "it makes your hair like buttah". So I made up my mind to purchase a Chi hair straightener and right this grave hair wrong. 

I found one on Ebay.

When it was finally delivered, I plugged it in...  and the lights in our hallway started flickering off and on. I'm not even making this up. I thought that was a good sign that my hair would receive enough power from my straightener to encourage super model straightness. My ultimate goal was to at least come up with some form of style that looked remotely close to this, which is the last time I had short hair 9 years ago.

But Nope. My hair is too short. 

In a pony tail it shall remain. 

On the brighter side, I've searched for ways to make your hair grow, and I've learned to take Biotin and flip my hair upside down while massaging my scalp with coconut oil and peppermint essential oils for 4 minutes continuously.

I'm certain it has grown .0003 thousandths of an inch.

I guess I should update my blog header picture. Replace the cartoon me with Gollum.