Sisterhood.

On a sunny day around the 4th of July I received a letter from my sister B. (Her name is being reduced to a letter to spare her from stalkers. She recently remarked that she's too busy for stalkers and therefore I cannot be held liable for enabling that behavior).

In the letter, B mentioned that she had it in her heart to have a long a weekend where all of my sisters could be gathered together in one place to enjoy each other's company. That was a total paraphrase of course, because B would never say something like "gather together in one place" as though she's quoting from the bible. I'm the spiritual one in our family. 
Of course I immediately pounced on FB Instant Messenger so that I could encourage this lovely idea of sisterly bonding and we began to make plans.
Then my daddy got sick.
That's a blog for another day when I'm emotionally stable enough to write about it. But speaking of my dad. I was reminiscing old blog posts and came across this one that still makes me smile.

After my dad's funeral we revisited the idea of getting together. Before long, I had my flight booked and my other sister's K & A (may as well protect them from stalkers too, but they never told me they were too busy for that action) had taken time off work. The day finally came and they picked me up from the airport.

You've never known an incessant amount of talking until you have 4 of us in the same space together. We can manage to all talk at the same time and still listen to what each other is saying. I'd say that should land us a spot on reality TV wouldn't you?

We arrived at B's house and straight away I noticed a sign on her wall.

We thought it was a good idea to take our first official portrait with this sign. My sister has a selfie stick, so you'd think this would make light work. You'd be wrong.
First we thought we'd take one with sunglasses and then one without.

Of course when all of us don't comply with the rules, chaos ensues and we have to start over which is no easy task. We called A out on her failure.

It took 10 minutes for us to get the pic with sunglasses.

By the time we managed to get the picture without sunglasses on, I forgot to suck in.

B had an itinerary for us full of shopping and adventure. 

One thing we all have in common is our love for all things vintage. That being said, B scheduled enough stops at antique malls for my sisters to entirely fill the back end of her truck. I have pictures.

This place was our first stop right after she picked me up at the airport (we wasted no time). 

I personally didn't believe the corn stalks were vintage but I also hadn't planned to buy them because I thought they looked like they could come to life at any moment and become a zombie.

This antique mall was aptly named. So. Selfie.

There's a quaint little historic town somewhere in the hills of Kentucky that contains "Patti's Settlement 1880's"  and B made us reservations for dinner and a variety show.

We asked our poorly dressed but super kind waitress to take our picture while we waited for our food at Patti's

We prefer to have pictures taken in twos. Are you all fawning over our puffy mound of bread with strawberry butter and my awesome $32 distressed Broncos shirt? I thought so.

 The girls all ordered the porkchop which is Patti's specialty due to the amazing sauce that comes on it. But I have an aversion to pork (unless it's bacon. Bacon is it's own food group) so I had B's baked potato and a bowl of french onion soup. This gave me the upper hand when we ordered dessert. 
Dessert was "Bill's Boatsinker" -a rich, dark double fudge pie topped with coffee ice cream, piled high with whipped cream, "drizzled" with chocolate syrup and topped with a cherry. 

 When I shared this pic with my sisters they assumed I was trying to make it look like I didn't partake in the unwholesome goodness. But I assured them I only portray myself that way in public. Not in FB Messenger.
We literally had to run across to the street to Badgett Playhouse to catch the variety show that B had purchased tickets for. I hate ending sentences in prepositions, but sometimes my life will just fall apart if I have to stop a sentence and reword it you know? 

 The show "Walkin in Memphis" was live with lovely singers and musicians. So lovely in fact that I've consulted with B about the desire to quit my day job to move to her hometown and join Badgett Playhouse. Even though I was the youngest person in the entire auditorium enjoying the show, I know I could bring energy to the stage if I performed there. Especially if I were to do my Alice Cooper routine.

 After the show, we walked the grounds and took selfies.

 

We're really pretty fun when we're all together. Even when we're fuzzy.

 Our last planned day was to Nashville for the Arts & Crafts Festival where it was 100 degrees but that doesn't stop us from selfies. In the car. Where it's not hot because there's air conditioning.

I did compliment one artist at the fair. So I'll give him a shout out here and then someday when he comes across my blog he can give me a shout out and we'll be even steven.

This was our final shopping day so we made the most of it and B had the kindness in her heart to stop here just for me:

This was followed by a stop at the classiest, most clutter-free antique shop I've ever been to called "Miss Lucille's". 

B was right at home.

 A walked around the shop and took pictures of things she wants to replicate so that she didn't have to pay $100 for a piece of furniture that was made to look like it was tossed around in a tornado. 

 Before I forget, I would be remiss if I didn't post this picture. Just because.

I've come to the final day of the sisterhood weekend and I could nearly cry. Of course I didn't blog in great detail in chronological order but we packed so much in that I'd need to hire someone to type it all out for me. Actually. That's a great idea! I'm for hire if anyone needs to me to type things out for you. $100 a letter. That's reasonable as I won't charge for typos.
Our 9 hour drive home was spent discussing whether or not chemical imbalance is mentioned in the bible and who killed JonBenet. Of course that discussion resulted in me laying awake the whole night with the light on because it was storming outside and something kept knocking on the wall outside my bedroom. (I was told this sound came from acorns falling from the tree beside the house but I know the sound of a killer knocking).

Our departing picture taken with K's kids and their friends:

K, you won't always get the baby coffee mug each year. Next year make A have it.

B sent us this picture a day later when we all returned home to mediocre lives:

I've already begun saving to fly all 3 of my sisters and my mom out to my house for next year's gathering. 
So far I have $7.00

The Casting Call

Yesterday morning I received the following text from my friend Stephanie:

Now wouldn't it be funny if I ended the blog right now? 

Yeah.

I clicked on the link she sent and discovered to my great delight that a movie is being made right here in my back yard of Colorado Springs and they need Extras. I'm capitalizing that word because I feel an Extra is someone special and deserves the honor of being a proper noun.

I'm not anything if I'm not Extra.

So click on the link here and quickly read about the casting call that was held in Colorado Springs so that I can move on with my blog. 

Thanks.

For those of you that were bums, here's a screenshot of the beginning of the article:

So I replied to my friend Stephanie:

So we went. If you're like me, you've never been to a casting call before and you are wondering what you do. So let me tell you.

First, you stand in line.

We had to go to the very end of the line because we didn't know anyone else in order to cut. We could see that everyone in line had papers (and some had a folder) and we felt ill equipped for stardom. We realized a nice lady was handing out the paperwork and she gave us ours. We also realized that the people with folders were carrying head shots with portfolios of their failing Hollywood careers in hopes that they would be noticed.

I showed up in shorts with a grubby t-shirt and my hair as nappy as possible. I'm pretty sure this look will land me a talk show soon.

One of the forms we had to complete with our name, phone number and answer questions about our hair color, eye color, wardrobe size and if we were any good at: bowling, softball, or had any experience with medicine. To which I wrote: "I can administer Children's Tylenol like nobodies business". 

I should probably note that some of the other people in line showed up like they were Hollywood personified and wore dresses with heels. I'm pretty sure that limits them as an extra. I mean they are NEVER going to be called to play a lazy person like I have the potential to be.

The line moved surprisingly fast and a tall man who acted like he was important and called himself the assistant director told us that when we got inside, we would have our picture taken and then be ushered into another room where we would be told how casting works.

We finished our paperwork and took a selfie

I browsed the paper with the casting call information- including the going pay rate for extras.  

That's when we saw the news crew filming us famous line connoisseurs.

 In no time we were inside where we were assigned a number and we had to write our name on it. I was number 1515.

I had to hold the sheet of paper with my number on it while I had my picture taken:

I told the guy taking my picture "WIND! I NEED WIND IN MY HAIR", but he said people being cast as lazy or the third world version of sporty spice don't need wind. To which I told him I thought I was there as a super model.

Stephanie of course looked like a complete doll. And she had her hair all pretty and everything.

She'll be cast a gypsy. 

Or "girl who can rock leggings".

Finally we were ushered into the big room to hear a friendly lady tell us how the casting call works.

 There were a few of us who were bored during this part.

I listened anyway as the lady told us they put our photo and information into a database that they use to cast people based on need. For instance, if they needed a brown haired, blue eyed, 5' 6" female to play a barista, they would filter their database to pull up those that fit that criteria and then make calls. 

 She also said not to show up late, not to lie on the form regarding your ability to bowl or play softball and if you can't drive the hour and a half to be in a scene in Florence, CO don't say you can. (I had to quickly scribble out Florence and Canyon City as possibilities, because if they called me for a night scene (which can last from 2 p.m. through 2 a.m.) I didn't want to say I was busy sleeping.

Of course I'll keep you all in the loop if I get cast as an extra for a film exclusive to Netflix starring Robert Redford and Jane Fonda. And Joy Wilkins.

My sister said to me "Tell Bob I said hi!".

To which I replied: "Bob will be busy asking me for my autograph".
Joy

For the Love of Football

One day back in May I was entering sweepstakes and happened to enter a contest to win Dawson a free registration to the 2016 Demaryius Thomas ProFootball Camp. A $250 win if I should happen to go forth and conquer.

And win I did. Because sometimes I type like Yoda.

 Believe it or not Jason and I actually had to talk Dawson into going to the camp. When I first found out I won (which is when we were on vacation in Steamboat Springs last month) and I was jumping all over the condo in joyful excitement, Dawson was saying he didn't think he'd enjoy the camp unless someone else he knew was there. Shy kids must miss out on a lot of fun. I registered him anyway. If it came down to it, I could pass for an 8th grader, right?
The day finally came and I wanted to capture the moment on camera when we finally got to the high school. I knew Dawson was anxious. 

 Evan didn't care. He got to wear his "pack-pack".

 After signing in, we were  directed over to the bleachers to wait until it was time to get started. It was during this time that the Channel 31 (Denver) news team came up and started interviewing the guy sitting in front of me. So I grabbed my camera and pretended to text when really I was taking a picture of the interview taking place in front of me. I was probably on the news later looking like I'm all texting. Really. I should work for the FBI.

I filled Evan's back pack with toys and the tablet I found at the Goodwill Outlet and bought for $1.67. Score. It already had games loaded on it. However, It was too bright outside for Evan to see the screen so I had to be innovative.

 Dawson loosened up a little when he realized that virtually every kid there was there with a parent and not a friend, so they were all in the same boat that he was in.

 Eventually this golf cart drove up onto the field and the lady across from me started smiling and clapping. I was all... "is that him"? I'm not accustomed to seeing celebrities in close proximity. Except for that one time in San Diego when I saw Richard Karn.
Immediately he was put to work autographing things set out on a table while the camp MC began calling campers out on the field.

 There goes Dawson.

 They were divided into teams by age and assigned a coach. Dawson's row is with his coach that has the hat on talking to the girl about Area 51.

 We estimated there were over 100 kids in attendance. Can you imagine that times $250 a piece? I can't. Because I can't do math. It was open to all kids within the US. One boy came from Florida. 

 Dawson's team getting instructions about the drills.

 DT was brought out.

 And then he introduced himself. I video taped it because I didn't know what celebrities sound like when they talk. I'm sure I had a gaping mouth like the boy in the bottom right of the picture above. 

Then it was time to do drills and learn crap.

 It was during that drill (above) that Dawson said the 31 news team came over and was filming them. When we got back to the hotel room, we quickly turned on the news and found the coverage of the camp so I took video.

Dawson was so bummed out that the film guy didn't get him on camera because the coach's head was in front of his face. Boo. 

More drills. Or standing around. Whatever.

 Some of the staff members passed out a sheet of paper stating that if you tweet about the camp experience you could win lunch with DT.

So I started taking pictures and tweeting like a crazy woman using phrases that Jason encouraged such as "inspiring young athletes" and "boosting confidence" and I still didn't win!

 Speaking of winning. There was a Papa John's booth set up at the front where you first come in. They had a wheel you could spin to win things such as a free large pizza, free dessert or a football raffle (which was to have your name put in the raffle to win a football signed by DT). I let Evan spin and it landed on free spin. So I let him spin again and it landed on football raffle. Lucky kid. I wrote Dawson's name down for the football. But he didn't win. I told Dawson it was all the kids who paid for camp that were winning things.

We managed to capture several pictures of the kids sitting and I'm not quite sure how that happened.

 Juwan Thompson showed up to join in the activities. I googled him so that make sure that he was legit. My blog didn't turn up because I hadn't blogged about him yet.

 Toward the latter half of the camp day, they break the teams up and send half of them to another field to play football games and learn defensive moves.

It was stinking hot out that first day and Dawson kept begging for a juice box. That's all I have to say about Evan. I just felt he needed a little blog space because he might be famous someday too.

 It was on Day 2 that Larry Fitgerald came to help out at the camp and I had to google him too. But Jason told me he's pretty certain he spoke at a recent event Jason had to attend for Compassion and Larry spoke. Only I don't think he looks like a Larry. But I'll go with it.

I'm pretty sure that picture was taken soon after Dawson intercepted the pass thrown my LF. I thought I should probably use his initials since I was too lazy to write out Demaryius's name. Equal treatment.
Dawson's coach had a phrase he repeated continually. "Everybody cover somebody". But Dawson never stayed with his guy. He cared more about catching the ball. I call that ambition.

I mean, the kid even owns football gloves. The sticky kind that help you catch.

This is one of the pictures I tweeted out with those awesome phrases.Now how on earth did I not win?

 And  I tweeted this one too. What is wrong with judges these days?!

I've been practicing my DT smirk.

 This is the part where the kids all came back to the other field to do more drills. Dawson's group lined up to receive passes from LF.

 And.. He caught it.

 Look at that agility. I get that stance when I'm about to chase Evan down for doing something naughty.

 And this is how far back I can bring my arm before spanking Evan for doing something naughty.

 These are the last few pictures we took before winding up the last day of camp. I don't know about anyone else. But the guy with the camera in this picture sort of creeps me out.

 This is DT applauding my efforts for winning this camp for Dawson. He was too embarrassed to look my way while clapping.

 And lastly, I have to share the story about camp pictures. I received an email stating that the first 20 people who signed their kids up could have their child take a professional picture with DT for only $300, signed by DT:

Then I received another email stating that if we didn't want to purchase that picture, it was fine because we could purchase this cheaper option instead for $20:

So I took matters into my own hands for free.

BOOM! I showed them!

Dawson actually did receive a signed photo of DT (actually signed, not a printed copy).

And Dawson also received a free copy of his team with Demaryius Thomas as well:

That Super Bowl ring is the size of a compact car.

I'm so happy that Dawson had the opportunity to go to this camp. And someday when he's a famous football player I hope he compensates me with a large house out of gratitude.