Elephants on Parade

I have found a new calling.

Well, newer than being an emcee for bowlathons, which was my previous new calling.

I have decided now to

***drumroll please***

Be an anchorwoman for the first ever positive news station.

That's right. I'd be bringing positive news to a home near you.

Economy in a slump?

Not on my watch! It's happy it doesn't have to work so hard!

Employment at an all-time low?

Not on my watch! It's giving people a break for once in their lives.

If NBC reads this, they'll offer me more than Katie Couric.

Unless she works for CBS.

As you can see, I don't watch much of the news.

Spell Smiling

That is the number one hit this blog gets when I check my site meter. There are lots of people out there who don't know how to spell smiling. That makes me sad. Because apparently they don't use spell checker or know that I wrote a very important letter to spell checker once.

Dawson decided he is old enough to take on more responsibilities in our home.

With laundry for instance.

I'm not sure I would define this as responsibility.

He then decided to do this, instead:

I can't even begin to explain how excited and hungry I am for Thanksgiving.

This year I've decided to make everything I'm taking ahead of time, eat as much as I can as soon as it's ready, and freeze the rest leftovers to take with me to my sister's house for the big day. But Jason didn't feel that would be a good idea, unless he gets to partake in the festivities before they're frozen. But that's on the down-lo, because my sister reads this blog and she'd kill me if she ever found out.

I'm taking a pecan pie we bought from the boy scouts, dump cake (which is dirt cheap, easy to make and oh so yummy) with vanilla ice cream, and I'm trying my hand at green bean casserole. Is it possible to ruin green bean casserole? Because if so, I hope one of my other sisters brings their own for a backup.

I'm dying to know what all of you are eating for Thanksgiving. Please do share in the comments section. Oh, and be sure to Fed-Ex a sample of each item to me by Thanksgiving Day.

I'm also wanting to hear Thanksgiving Day traditions, if you feel so inclined.

What am I going to have for lunch today?

All this talk about food makes me hungry for a WHOPPER.

I ask to have mine made with 0 calories so I'm all good.

Dawson + Sugar = Time Out

For me.

Saturday was a crazy day for our household. Jason had a fundraising event -the "Bowl-athon" and his coworker was sick so he asked me to help out. This also meant that unless I could find a babysitter, I would be bringing Dawson along which could make things interesting.

Once Dawson and I arrived at the bowling alley we (I use that term loosely here) helped Jason get all set up, and Jason asked me if I would be willing to mcee the event so that he and Steph could take care of the fundraising sheets and crunch numbers.

This meant that I would need to keep the bowlers entertained and also call out names for door prizes.

Let me tell ya, I have found my calling.

I was cracking people up.

Okay, so maybe I was being quite the dork, but I was under a bit of pressure and being the animated person I am, I couldn't refuse to burst out in song just a few times.

Meanwhile, Dawson was somehow managing to get unsuspecting bowlers to give him candy.

Not only that, but I gave him some, Steph gave him some, and the girl who was helping me pass out candy to bowlers who got strikes, spares, gutter balls or otherwise "never had dye touch their hair" (or whatever such predicament I could demise in order for them to claim chocolate) was also handing Dawson candy on the sly.

All of that to say, Dawson was a crazy,rambunctious, incessant talker the rest of the day.

I know, who would've thought he would talk incessantly while under the influence of sugar? I don't know where he gets it.

So, after the first bowling session was over, my duties as emcee were finished and Dawson and I headed over to my mom's house to go out to eat. The whole way to my mom's house (a 25 minute drive) Dawson repeatedly said various versions of the following phrase.

"Gramma KK has race car for me, OK?"

"Look Mommy! Semi!"

"Where's my airplane?"

"I want my blanket"

"Gramma KK has race care for me, OK?"

To which I would reply "ok" to see if he would give me peace

Indeed he didn't.

I was about to call my mom, ask her to go buy Dawson a race car and allow her the privilege of having Dawson for the night. But he calmed down once we got there. We had a great time with gramma KK, and Aunt Nita and Jose gave Dawson a tiny piece of gum which he amazingly chewed the entire night.

Then it was time to head home.

On the way home he picked right up where he left off. Only this time he rambled on with something along the lines of this:

"Mommy! You stand in time out! I drive school bus!"

I just wanted to get home.

***Anyway***

Now, once Jason sees my new holiday themed header he is going to wonder what on earth I am thinking. He has said a thousand times

"you are going to wait until Thanksgiving to put that up right?"

But he knows me by now.

I am so stinking excited for Christmas and it's snowing today and the holiday cheer is just busting at the seams waiting for me to explode in Christmas wonder.

Or something like that.

And that is the story of why I couldn't wait to get my holiday header up.

Thanks for listening.

POOP GOES IN THE POTTY

That's right folks.

This morning Jason called to tell me that he was changing Dawson's diaper and there was a little poop nugget in there. So Jason quickly grabbed another diaper to get it under Dawson before all poop nastiness broke loose, when Dawson yelled out

"No! I go poop in the big boy potty!"

So Jason picked him up, held him out in front of him and ran like the wind to the restroom. He plopped Dawson down on the toilet.

Several minutes pass.

Then Jason proceeds to give Dawson a lesson in grunting 101 and sure enough,

!PLOP!

Dawson went poop in the potty!

(I just spent several minutes trying to download the "kerplop" sound wave and it wouldn't work.)

Dawson was very excited about it and told me all about it on the phone afterward and Jason said Dawson couldn't stop talking about it the whole drive to daycare.

And that's not all!

When I came to see him at lunch, his teacher, Miss Melissa, (that's a lot of comma's for one sentence) told me as soon as I walked in the door that Dawson went potty today on the potty and earned himself a sticker!

*sigh*

I'm so proud of my little pooper.

Before I end this post I'd like to take a minute to give a shout out to all my Hacienda friends who spent several days puking their guts out with the fringe benefit of diarrhea. I have now gotten the report that 7 out of the 8 families who were at Hacienda got sick the next day after we met.

Dawson and I were the only family untouched by this phenomenon.

I have prayed all morning that I will not get it because I nearly ate a whole pizza last night by myself.

I'm sorry guys!!

And to all my blog readers out there, I must also apologize because after reading back through this post, I realized this is more poop in this post than in most toilets.

Sorry.

Cool and the Gang

Certainly it's not obvious by looking at this photo that I need to point out that I represent Cool, and the rest of the hoodlums in the picture are the gang? Ha ha guys! just kidding! sort of... Okay okay. This past weekend I had the great privilege of hanging out with one of my nearest and dearest friends, Mindy and her daughter Cora. I'm thinking we are going to make this an annual thing because Jason has his overnight fundraiser called the "Roller-thon" (which is actually where he and I met-romantic eh?) and so last year I did the same thing, I went to Mindy's house to stay the night and talk my head off while she was forced to listen because I held her captive in her own home. We also make yummy food and dessert and watch limitless episodes of "The Office" because she owns them on DVD. Usually I try leaving her home with one of those accidentally stashed in my overnight bag but she catches me every time. I think she has an alarm on them. If you are wondering what any of this has to do with the picture of me with my gang... doesn't anyone have patience anymore? What is this world coming to? I'm getting to that! But first, for some pics of our fun night with "Minny & Corwa" as Dawson says.

For dinner we had stromboli. Dawson and Cora ate chips with cheese and most of the cheese ended up as a moustache which I found to be hilarious.

"Cheese" they said. Get it?

Then Cora cheesed for me:

So I ask Dawson for an adorable pic like Cora's. What does he do?...

This. He takes after his father.

After dinner Dawson found Cora's wagon stashed with toys. He was in heaven.

I laugh every time I watch this and see Dawson throw the toy back out that Cora so purposefully put back on top.

Then they both empty the wagon and Cora hops in.

See, my son is a safe driver, looking behind him for any obstacles.

Then he ditches her.

And she's stuck. But isn't she cute stuck?

Then it's Dawson's turn. Yeah, you think that's hard Cora, try lifting him!

Afterward I tried convincing Dawson to let Cora give him a hug:

I explained that she was poking him in the eye, which technically isn't classified as a hug in the hug regulations rule book and she gave me this:

Closer... I guess?

She and I should model. Surely there's a magazine out there entitled "Dysfunctional", that way my picture could be used.

Now Mindy and I had to put the kids to bed so that we could have dessert. You didn't think we would share it did you??

Before they were willing to go to bed, they opted to climb the stairs a half dozen times because that seemed fun at the time. I, on the other hand, find eating dessert to be more fun. So I asked them politely to hurry this process along.

Because... dessert was Apple Dumplin's as Mindy says it.

She started to ruin them by sprinkling cinnamon on the top! Augh!

So I corrected her and she gave me that TEENY-TINY sliver of apple dumpling there in the top left corner of the dish. I'm still hungry.

We had those with ice cream, then stayed up talking and watching the office until Mindy fell asleep on the recliner and I was left laughing out loud alone. So we called it a night.

The following day we headed to Hacienda to meet up with my friends from college!

This was chaotic mayhem, even if I must say so myself. All of us with all of our kids, trying to eat and talk and tell our children to please behave and we want more chips!

And believe it or not, I found out something new about my friend Kate. She actually doesn't even like Mexican food. How long have she and I been eating at Hacienda and every time we go she gets a salad. So I finally asked her about it and she said she goes for the chips and salsa.

Danielle's daughter Sydney is even cuter in person. Holly had on a pair of jeans that made her butt look cute, and therefore I had to have a pair. Jen Freeman had me feed her (is she 8months Jen?)daughter so that she could take her 2 boys to the bathroom and her daughter absolutely LOVED me from that point on. Jen Knisley filled me in on her love life and she would like me to announce on my blog that she is single. Is there any reader here that I can hook her up with? And Michelle came late because she was donating blood and didn't bother paying attention to the actual meeting time that was listed in her email she got from Kate. However, in her defense, the person who receives her blood will end up being very funny and outgoing. The 2 qualities I love about her.

And after all the chaos, Mindy and I got another picture together because we forgot to the whole night before:

Sorry about that Cora, I'm an amateur okay?

Nice People in the World

This morning I came in to work and was kind've in a lull. You know those moods where there's nothing really wrong, but you just feel "bleh" anyway? Oh, You're a male? You don't know what I'm talking about? Well, I was just moody okay? I had no reason to be moody, I just was. Then I got to work and found out I would be answering the phone all day, which took me over the edge from moody to grumpy. There's nothing like answering the phone when you're a grump. Forced to be nice and answer all sorts of questions like "what time will my child's bus come now that we're on daylight savings time?" ummm. the same time it always did. ugh.

My day was on a crash course down hill on a bike with no brakes.

Until...

(cue heavenly music)Ahhhhhhh...

My coworker Andrea walked over to my desk and handed me a coupon for a free flavored coffee from McDonald's. Then she proceeded to ask me which coffee it was that I wanted from there because she was going to go there and get it for me. She actually had 2 of these coupons so she handed me her second one and said "that's yours to keep" and out the door she went.

But wait. The story gets better.

About half an hour goes by and in she walks with my drink and a McDonald's bag with a yogurt parfait in it which she hands to me and says "this is just in case you don't get a lunch break today".

I know!

I looked at her and my mouth dropped and I told her she is the sweetest girl in the world and I asked her to be Dawson's God parent, right there on the spot. Well, not really but I did thank her profusely (profusely is a weird word) and told her I'd love her forever.

I'm no longer a grump.

Unless...

God is using my grumpiness to encourage all of you to buy me things.

JUST KIDDING.

Because We're, Goin to the Chapel...

We decided to take a little scenic route to the airport on our way home from Colorado.

First we stopped at Focus on the Family so that Dawson could record his voice for a segment of Adventures in Odyssey. Not really, but wouldn't that be cool? They just have an area where kids can play and do cool stuff so that's what we did. But not without a picture:

Grandpa G, Dawson & Grandma G

Dawson kept saying "look at the GIANT mountains".

I have taught him how to use his adjectives well.

Later we went to the Air Force Academy base.

Dawson was impressed with the airplanes.

I was impressed that someone got them to balance on a pole.

Then to the gift shop where Dawson got his new prized possession, a toy airplane.

I really wanted to buy a pilots license but they wouldn't let me.

And on to the base Chapel:

Let me tell you something, once inside I was dying to break out in song because the acoustics were so awesome in there. I knew this because Dawson was continually yelling out odd vowel sounds because he liked how it echoed and he enjoys hearing himself.

When I go back, I'm bursting forth with "If I Were A Rich Man" from Fiddler On The Roof.

I love my red comfy pants.

Going here also made me want to return home quickly and decorate for Christmas.

-Speaking of Christmas-

I saw my first Christmas commercial yesterday. It was for Lowes.

And it inspired to me go ahead and start my Christmas list. Well, actually add on to it, since you know, I started it on December 26th of last year.

Just out of curiosity, what do you all want for Christmas this year?

For some reason I really feel like this picture needs to be hanging on a wall somewhere.

I would call it "Suspended at the Park" or something really creative like that because I keep looking at this picture and I can't form a conclusion as to what is holding up that bench. I don't see any bench legs. Oh and creative people always give their artwork strange names. So technically, I'm killing 2 birds with one stone. Though I don't endorse killing birds with stones.

To Pee, or Not to Pee... That is the Question

Guess what I did yesterday:

I Voted

I would like to also announce that I raised a ruckus (hey male lurker #2, that saying was just to cheer up your day-get it? raise a ruckus-ha!) when I got to the town hall to vote, because I made a bold proclamation while I was standing in line. After I got all checked in and was waiting for my turn, I happened to see the stickers on the desk of the woman who checked off my name. Yes! I was going to get a STICKER! So I shouted out, I'm only here voting today so that I can get my "I Voted Today" sticker, can we please get this line moving? The lady offered for me to have my sticker right then and there, but I said no, I'd like to wait until after I vote so that way I wasn't being a liar when I paraded around town later that evening. Of course no one else even noticed the stickers so everyone wanted a sticker when they were finished voting. So now I'm pretty much famous. Since I now feel that my vote didn't count, I'm justified knowing I still got my sticker. Then I stuck it to Jason's pillow just before bed. Just because I could. I fell asleep before I found out if he noticed.

I can't think of anything else to chat about at the moment so here is video of Dawson.

He helped us make pizza muffins the other night.

Fall Back

The few days we had left in Colorado after the wedding we spent relaxing. The Conrad's wanted to go to the visitor center at Garden of the Gods because they felt they had to purchase items for the daughters they left behind. I, on the other hand, felt they didn't deserve any souveniers because they don't have straight A's in school. Which is why they got left behind to begin with. JUST KIDDING. Actually, they probably do get straight A's. But I bet they get in trouble for talking in class. I never talked in class in school. Except in Mr. Savchuck's class, whom I called "Chuckbob" (he even signed my yearbook that way) it was an English honors class so there were only a handful of students in that class and I made the teacher laugh. I also got be late to that class and not get in trouble. Why can't that carry over into the working world?
Anyway,
Back to our great adventures at Garden of the Gods. At the visitor center there were leaves on the ground everywhere. We don't have leaves in our back yard at home so I felt this was the perfect time to introduce Dawson to the art of playing in them. 

MARK:

SET,

GO!

I love playing in the leaves. Jason had to bribe me with chocolate in order to get me to leave.

I also love the smell of leaves burning. Leaves, but not trash.

Dawson wasn't quite getting worn out so we thought it appropriate to conquer and tickle.

Ahh, yes, that's the results we were looking for:

Grandma G, Dawson asks for you everyday, and continually says

"I see Grandma G-2 weeks!"

Followed by:

"I ride airplane!"

Followed by:

"I ride Alligator!"

No worries. Grandma G does not promote the riding of alligators by small children.

That is what Dawson calls the elevator.