Sifting the Wheat

I’m going through a time right now where I’ve been doing a lot of wondering. What does the future hold? I mean this in a more personal kind of way, as it relates to me, and especially my family. Something kind’ve similar to the old adage: “what do I want to be when I grow up?”
I came across something in my Bible a while back that stuck with me. It’s not even an actual verse. It’s taken from the introduction that was written to the book of Isaiah.

“ It turns out nothing is unusable by God. He uses everything and everybody as material for His work, which is the remaking of the mess we have made of our lives.”

I love the last portion. About God remaking the mess of our lives. That reminds me that even if my future is God’s Plan B, it’s still HIS plan.
Besides, when I was little, my plan was to be a doctor/lawyer/singing/actress. And I’m wondering if God is working that into the plan…

On another note:
Here’s “Flashcards” with Dawson…

Which Theme song will it be?

You know you have a child that watches too much television when you cannot get cartoon theme songs out of your head. On any given day I will have the lyrics of one of the following cartoons circling through my brain and making their way into random documents as I'm typing them out.

• Bob The Builder
• Word World
• Franny's Feet
• Sid the Science Kid
• Reading Rainbow
• Make Way for Noddy
• Postcards from Buster

And that's just weekdays people. We won't get into Saturday morning cartoons.
But I won't focus on that right now, because the theme songs are taking over...

I'm really loving this stage of Dawson's life. He cracks me up with some of the stuff he says!
He has a toddler bible that we read to him almost every night. One of the most recent stories was about baby Jesus getting gifts from the 3 wise men. And there is a picture of the wise men offering their gifts to baby Jesus who is laying in the manger. Well, each night we review some of the stories that we have read to him and when that story came up he was looking at the picture. He pointed to baby Jesus and said “He doesn’t want those gifts! He’s sleeping!!” Very matter of fact. We just laughed and laughed. He also points at the picture of Goliath and says “He’s NAUGHTY!”

Yesterday while driving home from work Dawson was looking straight out the front windshield and said "These cars are making me crazy."

The worst phrase yet for me though, took place the other night while on our way home from Fort Wayne. I could hear Dawson chattering about something, but Jason and I were talking so I was only half listening. Then Dawson started to speak up to get our attention. This was our conversation:

Dawson: Mommy, remember when he was pushing daddy's button?
Me: Who did that Dawson?
Dawson: It was locked!
Me: Oh the policeman! The policeman came and unlocked the door for us.
Dawson: Yeah Mommy. THAT'S NOT NICE!
I will admit to extreme feelings of guilt at that point. But I did laugh out loud.
And have I mentioned how cute he is in hats?

Editors note: Please pay no attention to the 50 year old microwave behind Dawson. Jason has had that microwave since he was a freshman in college but can't seem to part with it...

Dawson's Top 10

Dawson always asks to listen to music in the car. Lately he has several different songs that he prefers to others. He says “Mommy, I want this one” once I have scanned through several thousand songs to get to one he likes. Thousand is an exaggeration. We’ll try 18, that’s more accurate. In case you are looking to add new songs to your IPODs, here’s the list of Dawson’s favorite songs at the moment:

· A Little More than Useless, Reliant K (Demands this one when he hears the intro)
· Never Let Go, Matt Redman
· Made to Love You, Toby Mac
· No One Like You, David Crowder Band

Okay so that’s not 10. But the David Crowder Song is really long so that should count for, like, 6 and that gives us 10 because I’m good at math.

In other ramblings, I’d just like to know if any of you realize just how difficult it is to have a toddler when you are sick. I have been sick with a self-diagnosed sinus infection for the past several days now and feeling lousy. I have been falling asleep at around 8 p.m. and then wake up several times in the middle of the night because I can’t breathe from my left nose or my head feels swollen or any number of symptoms. Dawson, being the age he is, is old enough to be independent, hyper and ornery and young enough to be quite dependent on us for food, drinks, getting dressed etc.. I mean it’s not like I could let Dawson run amok in the living room alone with cartoons while I go sleep off a cold. (Though the thought did cross my mind.) Thankfully Jason helped me out a lot this week so that I could walk around miserably and be grumpy but not have to worry if Dawson was unrolling the entire roll of toilet paper in the bathroom because he was taking care of him for me. Although I would have trouble falling asleep at night because Dawson would be jumping on my head while Jason was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, but other than that, I really do appreciate all his help -Thanks honey!

Finally,
I want to share video and pictures of Dawson’s first “real” sledding experience he had at my dad’s house. Jason got out the “gator” and took Dawson and his little friend TJ for a ride. Actually, he talked me into going for sled ride to, but I want tell you about that experience because it made my butt swell up. I just think children are so cute all bundled up!!

My dad offered to give Jason the gator because he likes it so much. My dad also once offered Jason a beer, which he took because he was scared my dad would be upset if he didn't take it.

Obviously I didn't allow Jason to accept the gator as a gift. Where would he drive it?

Well.. unless he got drunk on the beer from my dad and drove the gator in the neighbors back yard at 2:00 a.m. while I filmed it for Youtube. Because that's what our neighbors have done to us.

Police Blotter

It was a frigid -14° degrees below zero in the small town of Hamilton around 7:00 p.m. last night. A husband and wife along with their toddler son went to the Hamilton school district to help at a Campus Life JV event. Toward the end of the event, it was time to clean up and start sending kids home. It was during this time that Jason (the husband) handed his wife Joy the keys to the gray Jeep Cherokee and asked her to get their toddler strapped into his car seat and warm up the vehicle. And that is when things went awry…

I took Dawson out to Jason’s jeep and started getting him in his car seat. I had the keys in my hand and they kept poking Dawson. At one point, I heard the car horn go off, indicating that the Jeep lock system had just been activated but I thought nothing of it and I threw the keys into the front driver’s side seat. (My car has a lock safety system, so that even in the lock function is pushed on the key fob, as long as a door as open, the car lock will not work.) Meanwhile, Dawson was squirming and demanding something to drink because he was thirsty so I was struggling to get him strapped in. Finally, the job was done. I shut his door and then attempted to open the driver side door to start the vehicle and get it warmed up… but the door was locked. I then attempted to open all 4 car doors. All locked. ……….

There was little Dawson strapped in his car seat, sucking his thumb, looking out the window at me wondering why I wasn’t getting in the Jeep.

I frantically ran to the school doors trying to find Jason to tell him I had locked Dawson in the Jeep. The school doors were locked and I pounded on them, when the young man (Jerod) who was running the jv event came to the door to open it for me. I told him I needed Jason, I locked Dawson in the car and we need help NOW! Jason was loading Jerod’s truck with supplies we had left over. I ran to Jerod’s truck and told Jason the news. Utter mayhem erupted. Jason ran to the jeep and tried opening all 4 doors asking me how this had happened. Meanwhile, I can no longer feel my fingers or toes and my snot is starting to freeze in my nose. Immediately Jason dials 911.

911: This is 911 what’s your emergency?
Jason: Yes, we are parked in the parking lot of the Hamilton school district and we locked our son in our vehicle. It’s freezing out here. Can you send a police officer out to help us get the car unlocked?
911: Sir, police officers no longer respond to cases of keys locked in cars. Can your son unlock the car for you?

Jason: No you idiot! If he could, I wouldn’t be calling you would I? (Okay, Jason did not say this but if I were him, I would have) You’ve got to be kidding me! How can they not respond to this situation?! No, my son cannot unlock the door-he’s a toddler and he’s strapped in his car seat. This is an emergency, it’s 14 degrees below zero!
911: Sir, you will have to break your window open. (editors note: it’s a 40 minute drive home from Hamilton considering the road conditions.Can you imagine driving that entire trip with a window busted out?!)
Jason: we are NOT going to break a window, surely there has to be an officer who can come and help us!
911: Sir, an officer is just going to come and break a window, isn’t that something you could just do yourself!
Jason: I’m not going to do that! Can you call a wrecker? A locksmith? Anyone else?
911: Sir, I will transfer you to a wrecker service.

…15 minutes at least, has now passed. Jerod went and found a hanger which he and Jason were trying to finagle in through the car door, but the hanger was too flimsy to push the car lock to the left to unlock the door) Jason is now transferred to a new dispatcher who is trying to find the closest wrecking service available to come and help us out. There is some confusion, and then Jason hands me the phone.

Dispatcher: There is a wrecking service in Waterloo that will be able to come out (that’s at least a 15-20 minute wait)
Joy: Um, is that the closest service available? ( I really have no clue who I’m talking to at this point, I’m near tears, freezing, and panicked.)
Dispatcher: There is a police officer coming from Ashley which is not too far from there, and also an officer from Hamilton who should be coming-he said he would come to stay with you until someone arrives.
Joy: Thank you sir. ( I see headlights pull into the parking lot whom I think is a police officer so I wave him over) Sir, there is a police officer here now, do I need to stay on the phone with you?
Dispatcher: No you should be taken care of now.
Joy: Thank you.

Dawson is still sucking his thumb and staring at us through the window. He yells one time. Then goes back to sucking his thumb, wondering why in the heck are we not just getting in the jeep! It’s cold in there!

The police officer pulls up, gets out of his car and he doesn’t have a coat on!!!! I said “sir, do you have a coat? Do you want my coat?” And he smiled and said no, his was in the car and he was fine. (He would have looked quite extravagant in my pink and brown puffalump coat if I do say so myself). He gets in the trunk of his car pulls out a few locksmith items and wedges Jason’s door open with this inflatable thing. He takes a long crowbar looking thing, slides through the door, pushes the lock button and unlocks the door, all in a matter of about 5 minutes. I burst into tears and ask the officer if I’m allowed to hug him, and then I hug him anyway. We thank the officer profusely and then he leaves.I got in the Jeep and felt Dawson’s hands and face and put my gloves on him. Dawson now has a worried look on his face because I think he can see I was frantic. Jason starts the Jeep. My adrenaline comes down to a controllable level and the shaking I was doing is now coming from being so cold rather than the panic stricken state I was in. We drove home and got home just in time to watch “The Office”.

And that is the true story of how I received the award for Worst Mother of the Year.
It’s too bad you can no longer the read the post about the time we accidently locked Dawson in the house…

You Dropped Your Pocket

Dawson struggles with the sound the letter “L” makes. He interchanges it with the letter “W” when it falls in the middle of a word.
The following transpired a while back between Jason and Dawson, while Jason was working with Dawson on his “L’s”:

Jason: Dawson, say la la la la la la la la
Dawson: la la la la la la la la la
Jason: say Lollipop
Dawson: La Pawipop

So this is the post about friends! Glorious friends. We had several enounters with this species over Christmas break, and just recently.

First we had Gary. Gary is in the army. He grew up going to Campus Life JV under Jason's watchful eye. Now he's all grown up and remains friends with us because every time he gets to come home on leave, he gets free food at our house. Not a bad deal.

Dawson took a liking to Gary this time and decided to sit on his back and relax while Jason and Gary played Wii. This is not normal behavior for Dawson.

 Gary uses his seargent skillz on Big D.

The following day, we had a visitation from our friends, the Lurkers:

 We love them and we want Mrs. Lurker to have a baby. I'll bet if I get 33 comments on this post saying she needs to have a baby that she'll get pregnant. Because as we know, manipulation works.

Then came the SLEEPOVER. My friend Jodi, her husband Adam and 2 of their cutie-head kids came over to enjoy our awesome company. And to play Wii. So basically they were just using us. just kidding. I hope.

I put a movie in for the kids to watch in our bedroom and every now and then I'd go check on them. On one little spy trip of mine I saw this:

How cute is that?

For the record, someone mark this down, The 4 adults played Wii bowling and guess who won.

 

I did! I was playing as our friend Brad.

But this is my absolute favorite. Jodi really got into the trampoline game:

I love the game Apples to Apples.

The next morning we had cinnamon rolls and Adam was grumpy because he had to sleep on the couch and didn't sleep well, so next time, they're bringing they're bed.

And now I can no longer remember when on earth this happened but I got to meet up with 2 of my college roommates and I was so excited! We went to Applebee's where I ate all of my food and most of Jason's becuase I really like Applebee's.

Cora and D-Dawg are only about 6 months apart and frankly they will probably get married someday unless they marry someone else.

Dawson learned something new at this visit:

his daddy is NAUGHTY.

Things got a little out of hand.

And last but not least. I learned a new recipe from this visit. Buffalo chicken quesadilla's. Yum.

Ang, please tell Brad that I beat 3 adults at Wii bowling using his Mii character. He should feel proud of my victory.

12 Days of Christmas

I had such a long vacation over Christmas that I felt like it was 12 days! Maybe it was. And maybe I should make a note to self for next year to be sure I have presents to open for each day that I’m off. That’s not selfish.
I have to say that Dawson was so fun this year. He can unwrap gifts like nobodies business. (He’s studied under me since he was born.) He showed excitement for the present that was inside the wrapped paper, which added a dimension to the gift giving. Last year he played with the box. So that year we wrapped a bunch of boxes and he got nothing. Just kidding.
On Christmas Eve I had to work. I’m asking for an extra jewel on my very small crown in heaven for that.

We had Christmas with my family that evening at my sister’s house:

The famous "Jesse Tree" my mom does each year:

Playing Catch Phrase:

Planning for Christmas with my family this year was quite dysfunctional if I might say so myself. I drew the name of my niece who I didn’t think should have had her name in the drawing to begin with because she’s young, and then she didn’t even show up at our Christmas because she was mad and the person’s name who she drew had his gift stolen. All in a day’s work in my family people. I have plenty more where that came from. But I’m waiting to sell the movie rights to Lifetime. And if I might be able to insert another story in here which is completely unrelated to Christmas but a perfect depiction of the dysfunction that is my family…

We had our first “family meeting” this past Sunday to discuss some issues. My mom and all of my sisters were present but one. When the meeting was called to order the first official bit of business was to discuss my mom’s important documents and where she keeps them in the event of an emergency etc and this led to a discussion about death. My sister Karen felt the need to state that she absolutely refuses to be buried in a coffin, she wants to be cremated. (I’m mortified at this point) I begin to object to this a little and then immediately my sister Anita speaks up stating she is being cremated as well, and declares that clearly I have never dealt with claustrophobia or I would have the same deep-seated fears of being buried in a casket. Then I felt it was my civil duty to explain to them that you are cremated in a box. And then they changed the subject.

Christmas with my family though, is always very fun.
Christmas morning:

Jason and I are still working our way around traditions. At this point, I don’t think we have any. Do we? We get up, take showers, get ready, eat breakfast and then open presents. I would like to start a tradition that Dawson gets to open a pair of pajamas on Christmas Eve but I’m not sure why I want to do that. Perhaps I’m a Christmas copy cat.

We had enough Christmas wrap trash to fill the Adriatic Sea. Because the Adriatic Sea is large.

After our Christmas we head over to my dad’s house to celebrate.

This year, his gift to us was lottery tickets. I’ve never played the lottery, but I’ve discovered since that I’m a very greedy person indeed. Between Jason and I, we won $10 bucks. So we left Dawson at my dad’s and went to the local gas station to cash in our winnings. We bought beef jerky, pop, and some candy. My sister, on the other hand, cashed hers in (she didn’t win nearly as much as 10 whole dollars!) then bought more lottery tickets and won $100 out of the deal. I still feel shiested. But the beef jerky was good.

All in all, a great Christmas of 2008.

Coming soon:

What happens after Christmas.

Let the suspense sink in until you feel the need to call me to hear all the details. But then don’t call.

I'M OVERWHELMED

With gratitude for my adoring fans.

26 comments!? Is it real? Will somebody pinch me? I'm in comment heaven.

I'd like to take this time to thank:

• My BFF Paris Hilton. Girl, you need to change your wardrobe though, you've been looking a little homeless and stuff.

• My soon-to-be employer Donald Trump. I think you should try Rogaine! Peace out.
• Sandi Patti for her inspiration to make my own recording of "Love in any Language"

• Jim Halpert. Stick with Pam though buddy. It took you 5 stinking seasons to get engaged.

• Finley with the New York Times, please sure that you have spell check installed before publishing my articles. Spell check and I are tight.

• Last but not least, Bob & Larry and your friend the eggplant. Because I love your show:

(photo courtesy of Dawson's playdough supply. Joy made Bob & Larry, Jason made the eggplant)

And since I have to make this one quick, here are pictures of Dawson shoveling our driveway:

It took him like 5 hours to finally finish our driveway. sheesh.

The Update

Here I am.

I have sad news.

I can no longer update my blog on a regular basis.

When I'm able, I will try to make it to Jason's office to blog on my lunch break, but it will be very sporadic at best.

However, to see if I even have any reader's left I will throw a bit of manipulation out and say this:

If I can get 21 comments on this post, I will make every effort to try and update my blog at least once a week.

If not, then... I may just curl up and die. Or at least feel sorry for myself.

I think history has proven that manipulation works in some cases.

- Ta-Ta for now -